More poker/life ramblings....
The beauty of poker lies in its instant feedback. You play a hand well, don't get sucked out on, and rake in a big pot. The time between the good play and the stacking of chips was literally only seconds apart. Your brain is stimulated with a dopamine release and you want more of it.
On the negative side, when you're tilty, you shove all-in on a bad bluff or weak draw and lose. Still, the feedback is near instantaneous. Your chips are gone and so is your motivation to play well.
In the latter circumstance, sometimes all it takes is a good night's sleep to turn it around. You can recover. Your bankroll has withstood such hits before and with a new day and a new poker session come new opportunities to play well once again.
Life, though, is a bit different.
You screw up, whether you truly believe you did or not, the results are the same. Some form of negative feedback. Unfortunately, you can't just wake up the next day and fix it with a winning session. Life moves much slower than a poker game. Impressions on people last longer than a hand of poker.
It takes more discipline to turn things around in real life. Each day you have to make sure your mindset and your actions are tuned in to your intent. Making a change. Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Sure. But it takes a while. Over enough time, I'd say that even a leopard can change his spots. If he really wanted to.
Over time, you can build on a foundation of change. It takes work. It takes constant reminders. It takes the acknowledgment that you're not perfect, but you're working to bet better. And if you are consistent, over time, even people will notice. People who've once noticed you were one way will notice now that you're acting in a different way.
The change I've tried to put myself through is working. Slowly. But surely. The right people are noticing and that's a good thing. I have momentary slips. But luckily I catch myself. I will continue along this path I've set for myself, mainly because I have to. For the good of my family, I have to.
Life's long session keeps dealing me hands and I'm playing on a short stack with a limited roll. There is no place for tilt. If the river's kind to me, I'll be able to keep playing.
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Monday, April 27, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Who Are Also Disbanded
In light of Al's video post of classic thrash, here's some updated material from bands, who, as they say, "are also disbanded...."
Two From Coroner:
Two From Carcass:
And a Lick Loll:
Two From Coroner:
Two From Carcass:
And a Lick Loll:
Every Day Sends Future To Past
Every breath leaves one less to my last.
I'd attribute that quote, but those who've heard it know where it's from and those who haven't could not care less. Still, it's appropriate for me on this anniversary of my birth.
First off, I want to thank all the folks who've sent me birthday wishes via text message, email, Facebook messages and even kickass blog posts.
Secondly, I think I'm going to have to acknowledge a change in these here parts of the web. I hardly post anymore because, quite frankly, it's difficult to both come up with a poker-themed post and find the time to write something witty and insightful. So without sounding too much like a cop out, I'll be posting more about my mundane life and hopefully get some poker content in here and there. Hell, if UpForPoker can re-work their motif, well then I can certainly be a weak copy cat.
Also, occasionally I'll send out a Twitter, mainly when I've been drinking and feeling like I'm mildly entertaining. Be forewarned, my comedy is meta-comedy, only funny weeks, even months later. (Cue "guy bets half a sandwich" joke)
Back to me turning 41....
There are a couple of reasons I know I'm aging. Take last night for example. I was out doing what I do on Mondays, eating, drinking, whatever, then playing some cards. A friend was in town from up North, my old haunting grounds. This buddy of mine was the original participant with me in the very first Procedure(tm). I joke, but I seriously need to trademark that, just in case the term makes it into Pauly's book.
Anyway, I'm sitting at GucciRick's 10-handed poker table and need to relieve myself. For some reason I felt like drinking the Bud Lights (a.k.a. "The Bane of My Bowels") left in the refrigerator. Apparently, while I was away, I was dealt a hand but didn't get back in time to play it. I knew it was a good hand since both Rick and TheMark gave me shit about taking too long in the restroom.
I guess I folded pocket Jacks.
And yes, the flop was J-hi, rainbow.
And yes, Frank the Tank, flopped a set of 2's and doubled up against pocket 9's (don't ask).
And yes, had my bladder been able to control itself for just a wee bit (See? Meta-humor) longer, I'd have flopped set over set and won a $750 pot.
Here's why I'm old.
I didn't even get mad, or even mildly upset. Sure I rooted for Frank to turn or river quads, but still, it didn't tilt me in the least. I played marginally well after that until I got tired and gambled my profits away. I broke just about even, went home and slept.
When I woke up, I was another year older.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
(More meta-humor there, you know 'cause, like, I don't have hair. And that's a phrase used on shampoo bottles. Which I wouldn't need. Well, not that much. I like to avoid scalp problems by shampooing anyway. So maybe it's not meta-humor. But it could be. It depends on the delivery. Pretend right now that I nailed the delivery and this will be funny.)
I'd attribute that quote, but those who've heard it know where it's from and those who haven't could not care less. Still, it's appropriate for me on this anniversary of my birth.
First off, I want to thank all the folks who've sent me birthday wishes via text message, email, Facebook messages and even kickass blog posts.
Secondly, I think I'm going to have to acknowledge a change in these here parts of the web. I hardly post anymore because, quite frankly, it's difficult to both come up with a poker-themed post and find the time to write something witty and insightful. So without sounding too much like a cop out, I'll be posting more about my mundane life and hopefully get some poker content in here and there. Hell, if UpForPoker can re-work their motif, well then I can certainly be a weak copy cat.
Also, occasionally I'll send out a Twitter, mainly when I've been drinking and feeling like I'm mildly entertaining. Be forewarned, my comedy is meta-comedy, only funny weeks, even months later. (Cue "guy bets half a sandwich" joke)
Back to me turning 41....
There are a couple of reasons I know I'm aging. Take last night for example. I was out doing what I do on Mondays, eating, drinking, whatever, then playing some cards. A friend was in town from up North, my old haunting grounds. This buddy of mine was the original participant with me in the very first Procedure(tm). I joke, but I seriously need to trademark that, just in case the term makes it into Pauly's book.
Anyway, I'm sitting at GucciRick's 10-handed poker table and need to relieve myself. For some reason I felt like drinking the Bud Lights (a.k.a. "The Bane of My Bowels") left in the refrigerator. Apparently, while I was away, I was dealt a hand but didn't get back in time to play it. I knew it was a good hand since both Rick and TheMark gave me shit about taking too long in the restroom.
I guess I folded pocket Jacks.
And yes, the flop was J-hi, rainbow.
And yes, Frank the Tank, flopped a set of 2's and doubled up against pocket 9's (don't ask).
And yes, had my bladder been able to control itself for just a wee bit (See? Meta-humor) longer, I'd have flopped set over set and won a $750 pot.
Here's why I'm old.
I didn't even get mad, or even mildly upset. Sure I rooted for Frank to turn or river quads, but still, it didn't tilt me in the least. I played marginally well after that until I got tired and gambled my profits away. I broke just about even, went home and slept.
When I woke up, I was another year older.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
(More meta-humor there, you know 'cause, like, I don't have hair. And that's a phrase used on shampoo bottles. Which I wouldn't need. Well, not that much. I like to avoid scalp problems by shampooing anyway. So maybe it's not meta-humor. But it could be. It depends on the delivery. Pretend right now that I nailed the delivery and this will be funny.)
Thursday, April 09, 2009
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