Vegas Visions

My desire to go to Las Vegas with the other bloggers is tremendous. My family situation has forced me to potentially be traveling the 15th of December to Florida to spend an early Christmas with my parents. The scheduled trip to Vegas is the 10th to the 14th. I don't have much margin for error nor much cash for the trip. Excuses, excuses. I'm still going to at least try.

In the meantime, the following is what my vision of how a perfect trip would be.

Leaving the 10th at GSP with fellow blogger and South Carolinian Otis, we hit the bar early in the morning to waste some pre-flight time. For me, flying on a plane isn't the most pleasant of experiences unless I'm inebriated. I used to work for an aircraft engine company. I know how engines work and how they break all too well. Ignorance is bliss, but not in this case.

During the flight, the abnormally hot stewardesses have graciously allowed us to sit in first class. More drinking ensues.

We arrive in Vegas and meet up w/BG, Pauly, Al and the rest of the blogger crew. (Who else is going by the way?) Did I just type crew? Bleh. Need another word for us...perhaps posse? No, that's kinda goofy. I don't know, but it's a gaggle of blogging, poker playing degenerates ready to leave their mark (stain?) on Vegas.

Staying at the Bellagio, we all win entries into the 5-diamond classic by virtue of a satellite, except me. I win my entry in a fluke meeting with Gus Hanson in the Bellagio fitness center. He's working out and I challenge him to a bench-press contest. To even things out, it's a contest to determine who can do the most reps benching our body weight. It's not even close, so he forks over the 10 grand. (Personal note: my weight is 182 and I can do 23 reps at 225)

Defying the odds, the final table at the 5-diamond classic consists only of bloggers. We agree to split the winnings against the WPT's wishes, and show the world how bloggers play poker. Aces get cracked by the hammer and shouts of "Oh the Humanity" fill the airwaves.

We individually wager who can cop the best feel on Shanna Hiatt during our exit interviews. Pauly wins in a landslide.

I then ask for my tournament winnings to be paid in $1 bills. We then spend the rest of the weekend at Club Paradise getting AlCantHang-drunk, drowning in cheap booze and strippers.

If you listen closely enough you can hear Janie Lane singing "Heaven isn't too far away....."