Failure Response

There’s something inside me that cannot stomach failure whether it’s through being unprepared or through being simply outmatched.  I can’t explain it very well, but I have such extremely high expectations of myself in any endeavor that I take seriously, that failure motivates me to find a way to succeed.  Somehow.

Some people are hyper-competitive with others.  I’m hyper-competitive with myself.  Poker and weightlifting are the only activities that have survived my ever-decreasing free time lifestyle consolidation.  Each is a solo activity wherein you measure success against your own personal goals and aspirations.  A perfect fit.

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Each new instance of poker tilt to me represents failure.  Tuesday night was one of my worst, if not THE worst, failures I’ve had.

My reaction?  I want to get right back on the horse and succeed.  Once I’m able to regroup, I hope once again to overcome the hurdle I’ve placed in front of myself.

And succeed.  Until of course, the next time I fail.

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I wrote the above on Wednesday after my horrible session on Tuesday.  We played $200NL at Gucci Rick’s last night and I recouped ¾ of my losses.  I feel much better about my play, only making what I’d call two marginal mistakes – loose calls on the river.

It’s nice to be able to recover so soon after that debacle.