BadBlood on Poker

I am seriously sucking on the post a day thing, but even so, I'm more successful than I thought I'd be.

Last night was an odd confluence of events with respect to my current and future live poker playing plans. Due to my stubbornness and basic rock-headedness, I continue to try and establish a viable home game on Thursday nights. Unfortunately for me, one of the underground games that had been on hiatus has reopened. The unfortunate part is two-fold. First, I can't and won't go play in the underground games. Under any circumstances. Recent readers will know why. I'm simply too risk averse to chance an arrest, a robbery, or worst of all, pissing off the wife to previously unheard of levels. It turns out that my enthusiasm for playing the game does have a line which I won't cross.

The second reason for it being unfortunate is that enough of the players that were willing to play at the recently re-established home games will go back to the underground game. I don't begrudge them that choice; many of the players are not in the same place in life as I am. Were I a different person than I am now with no family who relies on me, the lure of a regular live game would tempt me to go back. But I'm not that person.

So in order to still be able to play live, I needed to find additional players.

Enter the old crew. The old Thursday night regulars. You might recall some of the names, you might not. Teddy Ballgame, The Rocket, MattyC. After I had left that game in pursuit of greener (higher stakes, more serious play) pastures last year, the game remained strong and grew. They began to alternate weeks of dealer's choice games with a weeks of NLHE ring games. The blinds are the same (1/2) but the max buy-in is only $100. I would prefer a bit higher, but if that's what the old group is comfortable with, then count me in.

Part of me is conflicted, but that happens when things change. It was a fun night of poker for sure, even getting sucked out on twice by Teddy. Part of me will miss the challenge of the higher stakes games, with some of the better players in the area. But the cost of taking that challenge is too high a price for me.

My hunch is that I'm just now finally coming to the realization that the live G-Vegas poker scene was a luxury borne in favorable circumstances. And now, other circumstances have arisen to just as abruptly take it away. I took the games and the opportunities to play so often for granted. I was spoiled a bit.

But now I go back to the games from which I came. I'm just thankful that the player base will have me back. Strange as it seems, part of me misses when Teddy says "Aw hell, I'd rather watch a monkey fuck a basketball."

I imagine players in New York may feel the same way. That scene has been under siege as well with several highly publicized busts and an even more unfortunate shooting that took someone's life. It's sad to think that playing this game can cost someone their life. To those who will take the risks I wish you the best of luck. Not the luck of the cards, but the luck of avoidance. I hope you all understand my decision. It's the right one for me only, I don't pretend that it's right for everyone.

****

These last few months have forced me to rethink what it is that I want out of poker. Deep down there is a piece of my being that will never give up the game. I just don't know if that piece was birthed from the seed of addiction, competitiveness, greed, passion, or something as yet unknown. If I can figure it out, I'll probably be a better person for it.

I think the thing that frightens me the most is that I wouldn't know what to fill the void poker's wake would leave in me if I were to give it up.

I'm pretty sure it ain't kickball though. ;)