You Had Me At "How Many Sets Do You Have Left?"

Sure, G-Vegas has its poker celebrities. Not a week goes by without Otis, G-Rob, TheMark or myself getting stopped in the street by an adoring fan seeking an autograph or some little tidbit of poker knowledge to help their game. That's simply the price you pay for fame. Alas, we live with it.

So it was no real surprise when yesterday I was approached by an Oscar-award-winning actress at the gym. It was painfully obvious she just wanted to get close to the guns that have achieved legendary status in the poker blogging community. Seriously.

How else can you explain the following: I had just come from the upstairs weight room, having just completed my first exercise of my workout - the bench press. I was listening to my workout mix on my iPod, totally in the zone with Night Rage's "The Tremor." On my way down the stairs, I noticed said actress working her legs on the Nautilus leg press machine. Out of the corner of my eye, as I passed her by, I noticed one of those subtle glances directed my way.

I took a seat at the shoulder press machine and before I could even begin my first set, Renee Zellweger sat right next to me at the lateral raise machine. Think about it. Who goes from working your legs to working your medial deltoids? Add to that fact that once she was finished with that machine, she went right back to working her legs. What a non-sensical workout progression.

Non-sensical unless you're totally trying to get close to the guns.

It's understandable though. Her marriage to Kenny Chesney was short-lived, but if you think about it, I'm basically a huge upgrade. To wit, I submit the following:

Hairstyle: Kenny - shaved head. BadBlood - shaved head. Winner: BadBlood - no need for stupid ten-gallon hat.

Armsize: Kenny - small, defined. BadBlood - huge, defined. Winner: BadBlood

Tatoos: Kenny - none that I'm aware of = pa-HU-ssay. BadBlood - tribal symbol on shoulder, translates to "Man with huge junk." Winner: BadBlood (apologies to Bobby Bracelet)

Favorite Lyrics: Kenny - "In the mornin' I'm leavin' making my way back to Cleveland. BadBlood - "Hello Cleveland!" This is Spinal Tap. Winner: BadBlood

So there you have it. Through the use of deductive reasoning and logic, it's no wonder Ms. Zellweger found it necessary to perform a meaningless shoulder exercise in the middle of her leg workout just to get close to the guns of Blood.

So Renee, if you or your assistants are ego surfing this morning, let me just say this. I work out Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Feel free to approach me and ask to touch them. Maudie, Heather, and Jaxia have and if you ever run into them, they'll tell you it was worth it.