Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Can't Touch That Day

I was scheduled for jury duty this past Monday. Not really knowing what to expect, I informed my boss that I'd be out for the entire day. Sometimes when you plan for the worst, it's easy to exceed your expectations. Pessimism. You should try it.

I had to state my name, my occupation, my marital status, and spouse's occupation.

"BadBlood, hot air balloon pilot, married to a professional poker player groupie."

"No, your honor, I don't play. It's illegal."

Those were the thoughts rumbling through my brain as I sat in front of the district judge. A small up tick in my maturity level prevented me from actually saying that, so I told the whole truth, nothing but the truth. So help me flying spaghetti monster. Or microscopic teapot if you're G-Rob.

****

I was elected to participate in three trials. My occupation as engineer was enough to sway two defense attorneys to excuse me from their juries, but I got nabbed for three anyway. There was time for me to go to lunch with the wife in between my first dismissal and my first trial. So I took her to a local sandwich shop and then to the mall. It's her birthday and I figured I'd get her some perfume for the kids to give to her. She likes the new Victoria's Secret stuff and who am I to refuse a trip inside a store where this woman is plastered all over its walls?

****

My phone rang. It was G-Rob calling from home.

"I have some exciting news for you," he said.

"Cool, spill it."

"I'm taking a nap."

For literally only a millisecond, I wondered why that was exciting news. But only a millisecond.

"Surely someone of your intelligence can figure out why that's exciting," he continued.

"Ah ha! You're going to play poker at Rick's tonight then go straight to work afterward."

"Bingo."

****

I was about to pay for the perfume when the Mrs. pointed at the sales clerk about to come over.

"Check out this woman's boobs," she said, "they're gigantic."

"If you say so."

Oddly, I'd seen them before.

I know what you're thinking. Otis thought the same exact thing when I told him about the encounter. The sales clerk took my credit card and said, "You look familiar. Where I have I seen you before?"

Expect the worst. Hope for the best. The whole truth, nothing but the truth.

"The gym," I responded. You may not believe me, but that was really the case.

****

The jury trial scheduled for that afternoon turned out to be a traffic violation. Illegal lane change. Why on earth was this infraction escalated all the way to trial? I could think of only two reasons: One, the defendant was so sure he was in the right, he was willing to go to whatever lengths to ensure his side of the story was recognized as truth. Two, he had too many points on his license and this ticket would be just enough to get it suspended.

After hearing both side's testimony, we adjourned to the jury room.

"Guilty."

****

Poker was odd last night. I was all-in twice with pocket Jacks, each time with roughly 50% equity. The first was on the flop against Otis. The board was 972, two hearts. He held the 68 of hearts for the 15-outs twice scenario. We ran it twice as is often done on huge pots. I won the first and lost the second on the river. It was somewhat exciting, but we split the pot in the end.

The second time, I was all-in pre-flop as a somewhat short stack. I was up against KQ suited, a early position, re-raise, "move" from Gucci Rick. We ran that twice too. Again I won the first and lost the second on the turn.

I expected the worst. So I wasn't too displeased with the results.

Then I folded away for about 2 hours. Discipline.

****

Things go in streaks at the poker table. Right now, I'm in a streak with G-Rob wherein he doubles me up at some point. I doubled him up at my birthday party cash game. He's returned the favor twice in return. Last night's double up put me in the profitable zone for the first time all evening at about 11:30. It can pay to wait sometimes, hard though it may be.

It was after all exciting news. Playing poker with your friends just can't be beat. Especially on a Monday.

3 comments:

StB said...

"Check out this woman's boobs," she said, "they're gigantic."

Wow. Most men search for their entire lives hoping to find a woman like that.

StB said...

"Check out this woman's boobs," she said, "they're gigantic."
That comment will put Drizz on tilt.

Drizztdj said...

Normally I'm the one who points them out then get the affirmation from the wife whether she thinks they're real or not.

Then I duck.

I need to figure out when's the best day to stroll into G-Vegas while in Charleston, June 15th - Jun 21st

Drop me an IM with a day, and where this Victoria Secret store is located.