Pre Race Musings

In 17 days, I'll hopefully be running and completing my first marathon.  Below is a jumbled pile of random thoughts that I've had either during training or during reflective moments when my mind simply wanders...

Most training programs have long runs that only go up to 20 miles.  When I hit the 17 to 18 mile range, at the end of those runs I asked myself "Do I have any more in me?" Too frequently, the answer was no 'effin way.  So I added a 21 and 22 mile run to my plan.  Lately, the answer to that same question has been a solid "uh....maybe?"

I remember crossing the finish line at my first half-marathon 2 years ago.  I had to climb the steps up Fluor field to exit the baseball field where the finish line was, and the throbbing pain in my legs told me that I'd never do a full marathon.  Well, that decision didn't last but a couple of years.

Last December, I ran a second half-marathon and was proud of my time.  I took 7 minutes off the previous year's race, and although that was motivating to me, there was still something missing.  I think it was due to the fact that I didn't do anything I'd not done before.  I was certain I'd finish, and very confident I'd set a PR.  But the challenge of pushing myself beyond my perceived capabilities wasn't there.

I won't specifically tell you what drives me to exercise and run.  Maybe you'll catch me with a few drinks in me someday and I'll hint at it with my guard down.

I have a marathon play list on my iPod.  I also have a play list called "!Last Mile."  The exclamation point is there so it's sorted first alphabetically (geek advice).  At the 25 mile mark, it goes on.  It has 3 songs on it and none of you will have ever heard them before.  The Acacia Strain's "Servant in the Place of Truth" is track number 1.  It opens with "Grab life by the throat and tear out its eyes."  It resonates with me and that's that.  Track number 2 is Kataklysm's "Iron Will."  If there's one song that represents most of what I'm feeling during a long run, that is it.  Lastly, Himsa's "Given in to the Taking" will round it out.  That song represents me at my weakest, when my discipline fails and I do things I'm not proud of.  It's there to remind me that regardless of my accomplishments, I can always be better.

I'm trying not to let the following statement get to me too much.  "I've never trained so hard to be so mediocre."  The reality is that I'll be finishing in the middle of the pack.  I will be proud to finish, but won't kid myself that it's anything but average.  That's OK though.

For those of you either just starting out running or exercising and thinking to yourself, "I'm not athletic enough or good enough to do what he's doing," I would respond this way:  There is nothing physically special about me at all.  Nothing.  I am not genetically gifted nor predisposed to be an athlete.  There is simply, and only, one thing that I have that perhaps you do not.  It's just determination.  It's a choice.  And it's choice that you can make for yourselves as well.  It's completely, 100% mental.  You can make the same decision and once you do, you only need to be consistent.  Consistency is key, for if you are, you will make progress without a doubt.  Then it's just a matter of time.  I am the tortoise.

Why do I keep running?  I've trained for something, an ability to do something.  Once complete, I feel like I can't let it go.  The accomplishment is mine and nobody can take it away.  Except myself.  Why would I train so hard for something then let it go?  I joke about my age, which isn't really that old, but at 44 I am past my physical peak.  Keeping my gains is a challenge, but perhaps if I do, I can fool myself that I'm not really aging at all.  Mentally, I have the maturity of 16 year old, but physically, I'm declining.  I don't want that.  I want to keep what I have, and if I stop training, those gains and abilities will evaporate.  I can't think of anything more depressing than saying to myself, "I used to be able to...."

What comes afterwards?  My mindset is such that I'm always thinking about what's next.  Will I choose to run another marathon?  Right now, I don't know.  Cross-fit is intriguing.  Perhaps I'll buy a bike and start riding, maybe that will lead to a triathlon.  Then there's always the semi-joke, semi-serious thought about MMA training.  There's a gym in the area, but part of me thinks that idea will be a first class ticket to injury on the stupid train.  So right now, I really don't know.

This endeavor has been a solo effort for the most part, and that has suited me well.  However, there are team relay races out there that might be fun to do.  The notion of being part of a team does appeal to me in some ways, as evidenced by the Tough Mudder and Mud Runs that I've done.

Lastly, I do want to thank the folks who have motivated me this past year.  First, Dan England, who's been through a couple of marathons himself and provided me with advice at every point during my training.  Also, the Willis brothers, both Brad and Jeff.  They've both made fantastic gains and have been sharing their training progress with me for the past 8 months.  They motivate in obvious ways and not so obvious ways.  I admire the work they've put in and appreciated their dedication and performance in the Tough Mudder last month.

I just need to dodge sickness and injury the last 2 weeks before the race.  And honestly, if I don't, that's OK.  If you've trained for a race, race day is really only a formality.  It's the final step in executing a plan.  But if you've executed each prior step properly, the final one is easy.  I trained, I made gains, and if for some reason I need to execute the final step at another marathon, so be it.  You can't take the training away from me.  Only I can.

But I won't.

First Salvo - Mastodon 2012

Alright folks, after weeks of laziness and buildup, I've finally decided on spilling more details on what has come to be known as Mastodon 2012.

First, and perhaps most importantly, the date of the event is October 25th to October 28th.  You may have noticed that October 25th is a Thursday.  Traditionally, Mastodon Weekends begin somewhat early for some folks and this year will be no exception.  So if you can get to town early, we'll have something for you to do.

Secondly, and you could make an argument that this is the most important facet of the weekend, there will be a race.  A running race.  But hold on, don't get discouraged if you're not a runner, because the 5k event that is part of the weekend is very much frequented by walkers.  Here's the website for more information:

Spinx Run Fest

(Note:  If and when you decide to sign up, for shits'n'giggles, use the team name Mastodon.)

Now if you are a runner, you have about 4 1/2 months to train for either a 5k, half-marathon, or if you're a nutcase like Poker Peaker, a full marathon.  I've participated in this event for the last 2 years and I can honestly say it's very well put together and highly organized.  You'll get a nice shirt, a medallion (but who wears those???), and hopefully a kick ass sense of accomplishment upon finishing.

Other details about the weekend....

Thursday - What would the weekend be without some form of wagering?  The details haven't been ironed out yet, but Thursday will be a night of poker.  We can't promise anything close to the last Mastodon poker experience, but we should be able to put together a decent tournament and cash game.  More to follow on this as the weekend gets closer.  Also, and I shouldn't mention this (but I will), a new location for pre-gaming Proceduring has opened up in town.  At least I've heard.....

Friday - For those who are running the race on Saturday, Friday will be a bit quieter.  This doesn't mean no fun activity though.  We're hoping to focus the day on something fun in downtown G-Vegas proper, ending with a nice carb-loading dinner somewhere.  Again, nothing is finalized detail-wise, but some early thoughts include spending time on Otis' deck with some great food, drink and music.

Saturday - Race day.  It will start early and end late.  Depending on your physical state at the end of the race, there will perhaps be some down nap-time and recovery, followed up with a super sweet dinner somewhere downtown.  Last Mastodon's nice dinner was at Rick Erwins, and that's definitely a candidate for this go-around.  But G-Vegas has more than one nice restaurant so all choices will be considered.  No need to mention the after-dinner downtown drinking stuff.  Who knows what will happen then?

Sunday - If you're still in town for the day, don't forget that this will still be prime time NFL viewing season.  Watching and wagering on the games that day will be at a location conducive to such things.

As you can tell, much of the details are still to be ironed out.  What's set in stone right now though is the date and the race.  So, with that information, clear your calendars for late October and start training.  We're hoping you can make it.  Feel free to email me or Otis for any additional information.

We're ready.

Teasin' Pleasin'

2011 Thrash Recommendations

All of this is right in my wheelhouse. Props to @Battlecross for a reply to one of my tweets last week. Little things like that earn you business and they have mine. Purchased the DRM-free album from Amazon. Slick.

Battlecross - Push, Pull, Destroy

Havok - Covering Fire

Destruction - Hate is My Fuel

Warbringer - Living Weapon

Searching For A Moment Like This

Race Report

Twelve miles were almost complete and I was running the best half marathon of my life. That's kind of a joke - it was only my 2nd and the odds were with me for it to be my best. Then I felt them coming. Cramps. In both of my calves. Not the entire muscle, but small strands of fibres near the center of the back of my lower leg. "No, not now," I thought, "Not now."

It was 4pm on Sunday, December 4th, and I was sitting at a 2/5 NL game at the Aria casino. I'd been in Vegas for about a day and a half and had perhaps 1 beer and 2 glasses of wine. I was as relaxed as I could be before a race for which I'd trained 3 months. Our group, no, our Team had planned to meet 1 hour before the race at 4:30 to grab a shuttle to the starting line near Mandalay Bay. Otis, G-Rob, Dan, Chako and myself changed into our gear and met near the poker room exit. I was anxious, I wanted to be at the starting line now and begin to stretch. Our team didn't worry about getting there on time, that is until we had been standing in the shuttle line with about 300 other people waiting for a bus that would never come.

I don't like expending any energy before an important race. But in order to get to the starting line on time, we all realized we'd have to walk the mile and a half to get there. We left the Aria at about 4:50pm, it was going to be close, but we should have been able to arrive on time. Along the way, though, police stopped us from crossing the street so that the full marathon race leaders had a clear road. Another delay.

By the time we reached the starting gate, the mass of humanity 33,000 strong prevented us from making any headway towards our assigned starting corrals. Before our team split, Dan grouped us together and reiterated the fact that we were all very lucky just to be able to participate. That had some calming effect on me, but I was still jittery. I gave Otis a hug, wished him luck, and crammed my way into corral #4. The starting gun went off before I even got inside. I was pissed. I hadn't stretched, I hadn't checked my bag and I just realized that I put my water belt on upside down. The two bottles of fluid I was going to run with were long gone and I began to panic just a little. I turned on my GPS watch and watched in dismay as its inability to find a signal magnified my anger. How would I ever be able to prove my finishing time to anyone, let alone, myself?

As you may be aware, I'm an engineer. It's my job to solve problems. That mode of thinking took over and I made some adjustments. First, I took everything I wasn't willing to lose out of my check-in bag. And then I just tossed it to the ground. I got my iPod ready and would simply use the total elapsed song duration to determine my race time. For fluids, I'd just have to use the aid stations throughout the race. For my running pace, I'd use feel. That's one thing I'm pretty good at - determining my pace based on effort, stride and tempo. I said to myself, "Don't let this petty shit ruin your race for you." So when my corral moved to the gate and got ready to run, I did a mental reboot and hit play on my iPod as soon as the gun went off.

It's not my favorite song by any means, but ever since it randomly started my first 10k that I ever ran, I use it to start every race that's longer than 6 miles. Broken, Beat, and Scarred. Three minutes into the song, my GPS watch acquired a signal. I didn't hit start on the watch timer just yet. I'd wait until the first song was over, then I could simply add the duration of that song to my overall time. The first water station came up and I took a drink I'd not normally take. And then I just simply tried to run the race I'd trained for, all the while making sure to soak up the atmosphere of the Vegas Strip at night.

There were some minor logistical obstacles to overcome. For one, even though they group your corrals by anticipated finish time, there's nobody to enforce that rule. I must have passed several hundred people in the first few miles, even a couple of walkers. That's simply unacceptable and dangerous. If you want to walk a race, that's fine, but don't do it at the peril of the runners behind you.

The first 6 or 7 miles were easy. I was running too fast, that much was certain, but I didn't care. I would just slow down if I needed to. I absorbed myself fully into my playlist. It was carefully crafted especially for this race. It had a couple of slower, less intense songs at the mid-way point so that the end was pure extreme metal intensity. I do recall having enough energy to sing along to Firewind's Set the World on Fire during mile 8. I hope nobody heard me though.

During my training for this race, the point at which my muscles and joints would begin to rebel against my wishes would occur later and later into each run. It was at mile 9 that this point hit me during this race and I slowed down a bit. It was my slowest mile of the race and I found it a bit difficult to resume my earlier pace. But difficulty is a relative term. My trials and tribulations were nothing compared to those of my friend.

The Thursday before I left for Vegas, I got a text from Otis' brother Dr. Jeff. "Mom and I are forcing Brad to Vegas to finish what he started. Take care of him for me." I was surprised, since I thought there was no way Otis would go to Vegas. I was also excited, he was part of our team that trained hard for this moment. That he would be a part of it after all that happened was great news. I was also honored.

Thinking of Otis is all it took for me to resume my race, even as my hamstring throbbed and my ankle ached. Ignore the pain, that's all I have to do. My GPS watch went from an 8:02 pace back to about 7:45. Good enough to set my personal best. My music did the rest.

Until the cramps hit.

I adjusted my stride hoping they'd go away. I ran with more of a flat footed step hoping to minimize the strain on my calves. It seemed to work, until I had to move laterally to pass someone; then they'd begin again. I knew I'd need sustenance, so I forced down another package of something called Gu that I'd picked up at an aid station. "Please be enough to stop the cramps," I begged. I'm not sure how quickly I could digest and process that something called Gu, but perhaps psychologically I convinced myself that it helped.

It didn't, the cramps came back midway through mile 13 and I was really thinking I'd have to walk. I turned towards the crowd for some reason. I can't really explain why I did just then. I'd not looked at the crowd the entire race prior to then. One head stool tall and over those people around him. "Hey, I know him." It was Drizz. I turned and pointed to him, music still blaring through my headphones. A group of about 15-20 bloggers saw me and began to cheer. Amazing. Truly an amazing feeling that will stick with me for the rest of my life. I'm not exaggerating. Fuck the cramps, I'm running through them. Powered by that simple gesture of friends watching and cheering, I crossed the finish line. Not knowing that the chip time was being recorded for me throughout the race, I calculated my finish time by adding song #1 of my playlist to my GPS timer. It came out to roughly 1:41, a personal best by 7 minutes.

To everyone who was there for me throughout the weekend, thank you very much. The race was part of a weekend that redefined what's important to me.

I think the best thing you can do for someone is simply be there when you're needed. You don't have to do much, most people don't need a lot of support. Small, little things matter. A cheer, a hug, a few minutes of converstation, a big bag of Stella....

Any support that's freely and willingly given to a friend is magnified a thousand-fold by its recipient. Trust me.

Exercise - Some Thoughts

I was honored last weekend to be part of a group of runners who dedicated their time and effort to complete the Las Vegas half marathon with me. Many of these folks were running the longest they'd ever run before on that day and they all finished. One of the more common topics of conversation that I overheard afterwards was how being there to cheer on others had motivated them to either resume or begin training themselves. That's outstanding.

So, if I may be so bold, let me relay a few tips to those of you considering beginning a training program, be it running or simply a general fitness routine. Many people start them, and as we all know, not as many people continue with them.



Consistency - This is the absolute, number one thing to remember. Be consistent. Try your best to make working out not something you feel you have to do, but something you want to do. Make it a part of your lifestyle, just like having breakfast. Yes, it takes time and effort; but you don't have to workout every day. Start out slow and get used to the extra things you'll need to do to make working out easier, i.e. the extra laundry you'll need to do, the extra packing you'll need to do each morning before you go to work.

(Tip: If you work out after work, DO NOT go home first. If you think you'll head home after work and then go back out to the gym, you'll highly likely not make it. Go straight from work to the gym, and then go home.)

Plan is a plan - Find someone to help with your plan. A co-worker who works out, a trainer at the gym, hell, you can even email me if you want and I'll answer as best as I can. But remember this - it's just a "plan." You may have to deviate from it at times, so don't EVER get discouraged because you either missed a short-term workout goal, regressed in your training a step, or flat-out missed a work out. Make concessions in your plan so that you'll have a back up. Shorten your workout if you need to, a shorter one is better than none at all. Switch off-days if you need to. If you have to miss a workout, make it up on one of your rest days. Even if you flat out miss a week or longer due to travel, do NOT give up. Understand that it's a small step backwards, but you're still on a plan to move forward.

Coming Back from a break - To me, this is the NUMBER 1 cause for people to fall off the work out wagon. Look, you'll get sick. You'll have unexpected travel. You will miss a workout, even several, through no fault of your own. You need to find the mental discipline to resume your program after a break. It's very mentally discouraging to make good progress by being consistent for months at a time and then see it diminish because you're missing workouts. So what? Get back to the gym as soon as you can. It's difficult, I know. Just don't quit.

Enjoy - You should really at some point look forward to working out. It shouldn't suck. If it did, who would ever do it? Find something to make it fun. Honestly, healthy, physically fit people are fun to look at in tight clothing. I'm a male pig, and seeing a nice young woman in tight workout clothes is a motivator to me. I'm sorry. It's because I'm a pig. I understand that. If you're lucky enough to have a friend as a workout partner, that can make things enjoyable too. When GRob and Otis began doing long runs on Saturdays with me these past few months, it made a mundane run very much something to look forward to.

Compare you to you - Lastly, don't ever compare yourself to someone else. You're not them. You don't have their genetics, you don't respond to training like they do, you don't process foods the same way they do, you're not their age, you're simply not them. Everyone can find someone more fit than they are. I can find tons of guys stronger, faster (Dan), more lean, more proportional, more everything. Don't let that keep you from working out. Keep a log if you can, and in a year, compare yourself to what you were doing a year prior. You'll be amazed at YOUR progress. You get to keep it and nobody can take it away from you. Think about that.

If you decide to do something with respect to working out, start today. Don't wait for January 1st. Do it today. There's nothing stopping you. And if you choose to do something, consider how lucky you are to be able to. Dan's advice to us runners this year is the best advice I've ever had. "Consider how lucky we all are to be able to run today." There are millions of people who can't.