Friday, August 28, 2009

It's The Final Friday

It's not always you can book your next trip to Vegas before you finish a trip report from your last visit, but when your blogging rate drops to the G-Rob levels, that's what happens. I've also become a bit lazy too. Combine that with my work-based free time approaching nil (that's British for nothing; remember, I'm bi-lingual), and these posts become about as infrequent as AlCantHang's sobriety.

Rather than bore you with my take on day 2 in Vegas, let me simply re-direct you to this.

I'll jump right into day 3 if you'll allow me to. Hopefully I can remember it all. I do know that it was a Friday.


The plan was to perform the impossible. Take a regular run of the mill Procedure and improve it. I felt that the only way to improve something so well-refined would be to make it something that could only happen in Vegas. After all, you really can perform a Procedure anywhere. Even in your own house. If you know the right people.

But what to add? I'd debated for months on how it could be done, but somehow, someway, the Procedure needed to include Sushi and a Steel Panther show. So with that in mind, Friday in Vegas became Final Friday and those of us who were there were on a mission the likes of which General Patton couldn't have completed.


From my perspective, the cornerstone of Final Friday was the drinking phase. There is a fine line between not drinking enough and drinking far too much such that often times, you fail to optimize your enjoyment. Watching a pro like AlCantHang for the past five years, I figured that his method was finely tuned. Sipping hard liquor with a water back seemed like my best bet. And thanks to being in the Venetian poker room (seriously, why play anywhere else) I decided upon the following: The Glenlivet and 4/8 Omaha 8 or better with a half-kill.

I know what you're thinking. Limit poker? Yes, limit poker. I had already won a buy-in at 1/3 NL before the Final Friday gang showed up and I figured I'd book that win. Because the plans for this day had been detailed so painstakingly, I felt it was the best choice. I really didn't want to sour my mood in any fashion by making a donk, lose-my-stack play at the no-limit tables. Cautious, yes, but boring, no. Not with the company who was trickling into the room.

For a while, the game was going strong with 2-tables filled with bloggers. Me, Otis, Al, CK, F-Train, Amy Callistri, PokerShrink and even Change100 made their way into the game. Pauly was busy elsewhere in the room, stacking foreigners ruthlessly. We even got the Venetian to deal a mixed game of Stud8, O8, Razz, Badugi, and 2-7 Triple Draw. When it was time to pack up and go get some sushi, I was riding the crest of the perfectly buzzed wave and cashing out a Drizz-like 7 racks of whites. I ran sick good. Phase One and Two complete.


CK and F-Train being locals, and more importantly having a car, graciously helped us with our sushi dining experience. They made reservations for us at Naked Fish and off we went. In the twenty minutes it takes to get from the Venetian casino to Durango Drive we probably passed 50 Asian massage parlors. And I'm not exaggerating. Some day we'll include a Rub 'n Tug to the Procedure, but not this time.

Dinner was quite frankly one of the most amazing dinners I've ever had. I'm no Boy Genius foodie type, but I'd say that it will be tough to top that sushi anywhere else. If you've not ever gone, give it a try if you're into the raw fish.

Phase Three complete.


We were a bit pressed for time. Phase Four would have to be quick. We had to get to Green Valley Ranch by midnight for Steel Panther and didn't want to get shut out of the show. I won't go into details here because not everyone completed Phase Four. Based on my expenditures on Day 2, even I didn't purchase any "experiences" at Phase Four. Pretty amazing. It almost brings up a philosophical question: If you go to a strip club and don't get a lap dance, did you really go to a strip club? Questions like this have confounded philosophers and degenerates for ages. We'll table the debate for another time.

So, while all of us where there, not all of us were there.


Finally, we arrived at Phase Five. We were almost complete with the nearly impossible Final Friday. We were still a bit later than we wanted to be and the line out of Ovations where Steel Panther play was growing long. We made a command decision and I greased the floor to let us in and secure us a table. We were required to drink at least $150 worth of alcohol. I think Al said, "That's it?"

Earlier in the day (warning, this might be a little gay), I sent a Tweet to Steel Panther's guitarist to play Asian Hooker during the show. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Instead, intermingled with all the cover songs they were playing, we heard Death To All But Metal and Community Property instead. Fair exchange. I did actually get a reply the next day from Satchel saying to text him earlier the next time. I nearly dropped my BlackBerry when I saw the reply. Ah. Being a fanboy. It's the little things that matter.

When the show was over, Otis caught up with some Stars folks who also had attended the show. If I recall correctly, Evelyn Ng, Maridu, and Adam Levy were there. Evelyn is tall. Very tall. That's all I really remember since I hadn't stopped drinking at any point during Final Friday. Being caught between super-buzzed and the beginnings of obliteration, I felt the only logical thing to do would be to attack the Green Valley poker room.

You could call it Phase Five A.

Since it was late, the poker room was nearly empty. We were all seated at the same 4/8 limit hold 'em table. Yeah, I said limit hold 'em. More limit poker? Why the hell not. Collectively, we tilted the hell out of the locals. They were horrible anyway, but by the time the session was over, only me, Al and F-Train had chips.

Somehow, I had won over $700 for the day at 4/8 limit poker. That just sounds dumb. But it's true. It made for the perfect conclusion of a perfect day and night in Vegas.

Final Friday. I'm not sure it will ever be topped.

But of course, that won't stop me from trying.