Thursday, December 29, 2005

Happy Birthday Jack Hammer

For those of you near the G-Vegas area, New Year’s Day will bring with it the one year anniversary of The Jackhammer.

I’ll be hosting a tournament that day, a $50 buy-in.  Seats are limited to 30 players due to my house simply not being very big.  And besides, I don’t deal well with crowds.  Anywho….here’s a list of people who’ve already committed to attending: (up to 25)

The Rankster
Frank the Tank
Shep (8-ball) Tiltstein
Defending Champion, The Wolverine
Stan the Can
Dr. Alan Shaw
Teddy Ballgame
Neighbor Greg
Uncle Ted
Big Pirate

A veritable who’s who in G-Vegas poker celebrities.    G-Rob will be working, but may show up to watch for a bit and do some railbird heckling.

There will be food, there will be drink, there will be fun.  I’m just letting the readers know, just in case anyone might be in the area.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

With A Little Help From My Friends

The scene is my work cubicle, sometime on the Tuesday after the Christmas holiday and the all-too-short string of vacation days I’d just exhausted.  The phone rings, and since I can recognize my own home phone number, I answer with a polite “Hello.”  Unsurprisingly, it’s the Mrs. calling to check in.  We exchange a few pleasantries and then she gets down to the reason for calling.  Mrs_All_In is over the house and is indicating that TheMark would like to host a home game this evening.

I’ll confess that my first thoughts were less than enthusiastic.  I’ve been fighting a small head cold, so I was running a bit tired.  I also figured that most of the players were still on vacation and I’d be the only working stiff not drinking and rollicking it up.  Couple that with ideas of playing in Wil’s weekly tournament and I guess you can say I didn’t jump at the chance.

But then I remembered a post from some local donkey I’d read recently.  Something about sharing and spending time with friends.  As Teddy Ballgame so frequently says, “Aw…hell.”

The game was on.


The tourney began with ten players – BadBlood, Mrs_Blood, TheRick, Wolverine, TheMark, Otis, Shep (8-ball) Tiltstein, TripleF (fuck-face-firefighter), Mrs_All_In, and G-Rob.  As has been the norm, I fronted Mrs_Blood’s buy-in and prayed I’d recoup both buy-ins somehow.  Generally I’d have to wait until the post tourney cash game.  Because I suck at tournaments.


I’ve been called a tightbox before.  There are other tight, aggressive players in our bunch, but the label has been stuck to me since before time.  As such, my tourney success has been less than optimal.  Bouncing ideas off of G-Rob for the last year has actually brought some new insights to my game.  He’ll admit to me helping him at times, and I’d certainly be remiss if I didn’t return the sentiment.  For it is true.

Each player has an A-game that is within their style.  But to be successful, you need to develop the parts of your game that don’t come naturally.  My A-game is mainly founded in solid, tight play.  G-Rob’s A-game is on the other side of my spectrum – more aggressive, more willing to take chances, perhaps looser, but still solid.

I generally hate asking for help.  I’d just assume flounder in my own inadequacies than break down and admit I needed any aid.  But if help does come of its own accord, I will absorb it and utilize it as best as I can.

So after one G-Vegas tourney a few months ago, G-Rob did let loose a valuable piece of wisdom in relation to my game.  I’m too tight when I have good position.  I know about position, I’ve even read about lessening starting hand requirements in good position.  But I’ve failed to execute.  G-Rob noticed it, and then told me about it.  You can’t ask for more help than that.  At least I can’t.


Some will say that the best part of stealing is not getting caught.  I say that the best part of stealing is getting caught, then fooling everyone into thinking that what you’ve stolen was actually yours in the first place.


Last night I raised more in position than I have in a while.  On one steal attempt I was called down on a board of 5QQ8T.  I showed down J5 offsuit and won.  Otis wondered aloud where the real BadBlood was who normally showed down quality starting cards.  He was there, but he was in a different gear.  At least for the time being.


Mrs_All_In is a fine player.  She holds her own against G-Vegas’ top players and has one Professional Blogger in the palm of her hand.  Her raises get respect.  Perhaps a bit too much respect.

During one hand, she made a 2.5xBB raise and the table folded.  She showed pocket K’s.  Later, she made the same raise and again, the table folded around.  She showed pocket Aces.

On the very next hand after her pocket Aces, I was dealt the same cards and made the same raise.

I got two callers and ended up winning a much larger pot.

Showing down J5o can do that for you.


The best part of mixing up your game is when players who can normally put you on a hand begin to have trouble.

During last Thursday’s home game, G-Rob put me on the hammer and pocket K’s on two separate occasions.  He was right both times, even though I only had to show down the hammer hand because it had sucked out on Otis’ pocket 9’s with a runner-runner straight.

Last night, G-Rob had more trouble putting me on a hand.  He was wrong every time he guessed.


Since it was nearing midnight, the final four players made a chip-equity based chop.  G-Rob was ITM, as was the Wolverine.  No surprises there.


The tandem of Blood spouses also made the money.  A rarity indeed.  Mrs_Blood got there by some tight play, and some very good short-stacked play near the end.

I got there because I got some help.  Perhaps I should ask for it more when I need it.  Pride can be a foolish thing.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Influencing Young Minds

Over the pass few years, I’ve been fortunate enough to work with some engineering co-ops who have really taken to the job and produced some really fine work.  Many come and go, never to be heard from again; but sometimes one or two of them keep in touch.

One such co-op, who’s contributed more to the project I’m working on than some fulltime folks, recently sent me an email.  He’s currently finishing his Master’s degree at the University of Southern California.  In the email, he was kind enough to wish me Happy Holidays, but it was this information that really caught my eye.

Thanks for introducing me to poker.  I went to the Commerce over thanksgiving break and made $100 on hold 'em.

For his going away present, our group bought him a hold ‘em book and some chips.

Murderer’s Row, look out.  My minions are coming for you.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Friday, December 23, 2005

People Really Do Win on MTV

Click on December 21st:

Full Tilt Poker 10K per Day Winners

Thanks Full Tilt, that is teh r0x0r!!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Test Your Faith In Blood

I arrived home from work late yesterday due to a rapidly approaching code release deadline that loomed against my impending vacation days prior to the holidays.  I did manage to squeeze in an above average workout, so the blood was flowing.

I had two voicemails awaiting me from local degenerates TheMark and G-Rob.  It was Monday night and the big game was on, albeit in a new location due to continuing power outages here in G-Vegas.

I asked Mrs_Blood about her thoughts on my attendance.

“Well” she said, “you’re just going to lose.”

Oooof.  Boot to the head.

She back-peddled a bit after I thanked her for the vote of confidence, claiming that even I admitted to her that my play suffers during lengthy losing streaks.  She wasn’t concerned about the money, but rather my resulting demeanor.  I promised that no matter what happened, I’d come home without hard feelings and I’d take the family to breakfast in the morning.

We shook on the deal and I was off.


At midnight, I left the game down a buy-in.  My final hand was discouraging; I was a 65/35 favorite after the turn, but got rivered out of a $650 pot.

Still, I kept my end of the bargain.  My December drought continues, but my chin is up; propped up by the knowledge that I played well and didn’t let the results sour my attitude towards the game.


I am too stubborn to let the bad results get to me.

Bring your worst.

This is a test.  I will pass.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Forces of Evil in a Bozo Nightmare

I’m not a big fan of posts like this one.  This is an instance where I’m mainly writing for my own edification rather than attempting to provide any insight for others.  I confess to going back and reading old posts of mine at times, mainly to see where I’ve been and determine if I’ve made any progress.  This post is for the future me to read.


I hate to lose.  I mean I really hate it.  My poker play of late has been horrible as have been my results.  In the month of December, I’ve lost half my bankroll – most of it the live portion thanks to Vegas.  Introspection leads me to believe that I’m not handling things the proper way.  The joy of winning doesn’t hold a candle to the frustration of losing.  And if that’s the case, then why am I playing?

I recall the feelings that I had when I won the 180SNG on Stars.  My bankroll was a cool grand richer and I was content.  But I was only barely content.  The winnings ensured a grand holiday season for the miniBloods but other than that, I didn’t feel much else.

My own pessimism compartmentalized the win into the “didn’t get unlucky” box.  I didn’t take any credit for playing well.  Even when others mentioned how well I played, I shrugged it off as still just getting a bit lucky.  I’m very reluctant to take any credit for my play because I know how quickly things can turn around.  And they just have.

As a result, I’m probably too hard on myself when I’m losing.  In fact, I pretty much manage to put myself in a realm from which there is no return.  At least not immediately.  All facets of my life are affected for the worse.  I put too much of my self-worth into my poker results and frankly, it’s hard for me to stop.  Knowing you’re doing the wrong thing is one thing, but preventing yourself from doing the wrong thing is another.

My rational side can look at the past two calendar years and see financial success.  My irrational side can look to this past trip to Vegas when I lost a huge chunk of change and see how poorly I reacted.

I tell you this, putting on a smile on any one of those days was a chore for me.  Deep down, I was pissed off.  Ultra pissed-off.  In fact, I purposely didn’t even drink that much because that would have been a very bad idea to combine the alcohol with my mood.

I regret my behavior, even if I hid my true feelings well.

In fact, I let down one of my best friends because I was too mired in self-pity.

Conventional wisdom would dictate some time off.  But I’m a junkie and can’t do that.  I can scale back the time and the stakes, but cold turkey isn’t in my vocabulary.  Time heals all wounds and this deep cut will eventually heal.  The scar tissue will be stronger than the original flesh in its place even if it’s a bit less pleasant to look at.  But all veterans of the poker battle have their scars if only to remind them that they survived.


On Sunday, I played in two $10+1 SNG’s.  I didn’t cash in either.  I managed to find solace in a place where it’s always there.  Without fail.


miniBlood and I shot some hoops in the driveway and then played some catch with a new nerf football.  Then I smoked his little butt in Madden 2004.  Granted, a 53-50 overtime win doesn’t qualify as smoked, but he’s a prodigy.  Unsurprisingly, he took the loss without so much as a passing frown.  He was just happy to play.

Lesson learned.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Tidbits v3.0

This morning my car was Ride the Lighting, Track 5.  It’s miserable here today.  I thought I moved away from this garbage weather.  Apparently not.


As with all trips to Vegas, you can never do everything you had planned for.  As these events grow, it becomes even more difficult to spend time with everyone.  I think we all feel that we missed out on doing some things and meeting some people.

To my brother in metal, AlCantHang, we shall party in style to make up for this trip’s lack of drunken-headbanging that only you and I know how to do properly.  Well, StB can join us too, he knows his shit.  Hell, even Speaker can throw down.

I missed too much time at the MGM on Friday night.  Apparently Chris Moneymaker was there and Phil Gordon too.  Glad to see Mrs. Head gave him the spanking he probably deserved.  And F-Train?  What’s up with not recognizing him?  Dude, I know you, AND I’m embarrassed for you.

Apparently, THE funniest moment of the trip was TrumpJosh making like Otis and falling down at the MGM bar.  The falling is funny in and of itself, but the fact that he managed to spill his own beer on his own face during the act makes it extra special.  Wish I was there, even though Chad and Speaker have retold the event in enough detail to make me laugh out loud when I read their recounts.

Apparently Mrs. Joe Speaker wanted a couple of tix to the gun show.  If you met Joe’s better half, then you know how disappointed I am for not being able to accommodate her.  It’s probably for the best.  Given my recent and TOTALLY inadvertent pummeling of helpless women, I’d have misfired and I’d be getting sued right now.


For the record, here’s what went down with the pregnant dealer.  I’m not 100% sure, but I believe I had just sucked out on Michael Craig at the $2/$6 Vegas Hold ‘em table at the Excalibur.  I raised my fists in jubilation, not knowing that the next dealer for the table was standing right behind me.  Bam!  I connected with her right orbital socket.  I immediately apologized, but the dealer seemed, shall we say, not too pleased.  She sat down and I gave her $2, because you know, I’m a big spender.  Anyway, I kept tipping her all I could until she at least smiled once.  It wasn’t until later that I found out she was pregnant.

I will say this.  Maudie took that steel chair shot with nary a blink.

Who’s next?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Tidbits v2.0

Welcome back for another installment.  Back here in G-Vegas, winter approaches and the mini’s are finishing up the first half of the school year eagerly awaiting the holidays.  Family fun is one sure way to flush away the doldrums of a bankroll decimating vacation.  Not to mention how a good workout will too.  It felt good to get under the iron once again on Tuesday after a 5 day hiatus.


Reading Chaderama’s blog about us wandering the lost hallways of the Excalibur looking for the exit brought back memories.  I had just raised, not called, but raised away all my chips at the PLO8 game with 2nd nut low, top two pair.  The nut low and flush called me with ease.  It was at that point that TheMark said, “You need to go to bed.”  So I wandered away and luckily found Chad to share a cab ride with.  Man, was I out of it.


Was I a fan of the Imperial Palace poker room?  No.  Let me count the ways.  First, $1/$2 blind NL hold ‘em with only a $100 buy-in is bogus.  50xBB is not the way to go.  Secondly, I had busted out and put $100 cash on the table to re-buy, and was dealt in a hand which I eventually won.  So I had cash and chips on the table.  During a subsequent hand when I wanted to go all-in, a different dealer said cash didn’t play.  The whole table erupted in protest on my behalf.  I had 1 red $5 chip left and that’s all I could bet to protect my pocket K’s on the turn.  The player I was playing against would have folded to a $105 bet, but of course had to call since the bet was only $5 more.  He had A8.  Since nobody had to remove any dead bodies, you at least know an Ace didn’t hit the river.


Prop betting, hi-low split style is much more fun.  Wil and I would not only bet on the color of the Excalibur wheel spin, but also on the ending digit (either 0 or 5).  Frequently we’d push, sometimes there was a scoop, and other times somebody would get quartered when a neutral color hit and the number portion of the bet would pay off.


Next time you see him, you’ll have to ask TheMark how he got banned from the IP poker room.  Being flat out wasted may or may not have contributed.


In the credit where credit is due department, I officially give JoeSpeaker some props for adjusting his play to the unadulterated aggression displayed by TheMark.  Joe had been pushed off the first pot he was in with Mark and then slow-played a set of Queens to perfection, getting most of, if not all, his cash back.  Well played, sir.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tidbits v1.0

I’ve decided against a chronological order of events for the trip report.  Instead I’ll be writing 3 to 4 random events during the weekend as they pop into my head each morning.

Aside:  Number of times I’ve said “This fuckin’ place” since I’ve been back to work:  8


The defining poker hand for the trip happened after the WPBT event at the Imperial Palace.  I was way down and decided to mix it up by raising UTG to $12 with 4,5 of spades.  I got 4 callers which was no surprise.  How about this for a flop though: A44.  I immediately think I’ll be doubling up against any A out there, so I lead out for $20 and get 1 caller.  The turn brings another A.  Check, bet, fold.  Thoughts of Hatebreed come to mind.  Cast down…..defeated….never to rise.


The WPBT tourney gave me the opportunity to meet some of the fine ladies in the blogger universe:  Jaxia, Joanne, Jen Leo, and Tanya.  It’s quite nice to put a face to the name and I look forward to seeing you all again.  Bonus points to Jaxia for asking to feel the gunz.  Bonus points to Tanya for showing us her tattoo.


In the category of Bang for the Buck (no, not strippers or hookers), I played in the Aladdin noon tourney on Friday for $110 smackers.  I played two hands.  AQ ran into a set of Kings and then I lost a race with AT to 88 – Ace on the flop, 8 on the river.


Friday’s dinner at the Nine was a true highlight.  You have to admire a girl who knows a good steak when she sees one.  I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised since April hails from Texas.  Pretty much after every bite, we each looked at each other with a knowing stare that this was some damn fine steak.  I could seriously eat that stuff every night of the week.  Can’t afford it, but I could eat it.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Best for Last

It was difficult for me to choose where to start my trip report.  A majority of my weekend was spent losing money.  As much as I know and understand that losing is a part of the game, I still hate it.  I still let it affect my demeanor, and the last thing that a bunch of my friends want to see is a broody Blood.  I try to pack away the disappointment into a small container and throw it out with the other garbage that accumulates in my head, but I’ll admit that at times it’s very difficult to do.

I didn’t tilt, but I didn’t play particularly well either.

Timing is everything in life.  And in poker.  For this trip, the timing was perfectly bad.  I’d been running well the last few months; in fact, I was at all-time bankroll highs prior to my trip.  I knew a bad stretch was coming, but was hoping I could extend my run of good play and good cards for just a few more days.  To quote Anthrax’s I’m the Man:  “Not!”


But rather than lament the bad, I’ll focus on the good.  For there was good, and for my last remaining hours in Vegas playing poker, it was great.

If you ever go back and read my very first post on this blog, you’ll see that I discovered poker blogging through two outstanding people and their own respectively outstanding blogs.  Iggy had placed some text ads on Wil Wheaton’s site and through that one simple action, my poker playing career was forever altered.


On Friday night, I stopped by the MGM poker room prior to dinner and saw two familiar faces at a $1/$2 NL table.  Wil was playing poker with Paul Phillips.  I’m not sure the rest of the table knew with whom they were playing, but I sure did.

Wil was out of a hand at the time I arrived, so I tapped him on the shoulder and introduced myself.  He seemed genuinely interested to meet me and we spoke for a bit – his personality pretty much just like I imagined it would be.  I waited for Paul to finish the hand he was in and did the same.  Paul gave a sly look towards me, most likely wondering who this jackhole was bothering him at the tables.  When I mentioned my online moniker, a spark of recognition lit his face and we exchanged a few pleasantries.  Not one to linger and be a bother, I thanked each of them for their time and made my way to dinner.

I thought that would be all the interaction I’d have with the more famous bloggers for the weekend and was more than happy to have been given the opportunity to say hello.


The highlight of my weekend was a $2/$6 spread limit table at the Excalibur.  They opened the table just for us and it had a lineup of players that made the game the most enjoyable time I’ve ever had in Vegas.

Here are some of the players that sat down for a night of Vegas Hold’em, wheel spin prop betting, and dealer tokes that had every dealer eyeing our table with envy.  (Except for that pregnant dealer who I mistakenly clocked in the eye.  Apparently she never heard of the Maudie/steel chair incident.)

Wil Wheaton
Michael Craig – author of The Professor, The Banker and The Suicide King


I’ll write more in depth about that game and most everything else; but for now, I’ll just say thanks to everyone I saw again or met for the first time on this latest trip.  I’m worn, my bankroll’s torn, but yet again, it was another great experience.

Coming up:  Hi/lo split Excalibur prop betting, getting on “Wheaton’s list,” working out with Joaquin, WPBT tourney recap, lowest of the low, STEAK!, pre-tourney speeches, and mmmmmmm…..Jaxia ;)

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


There is the life you lead.  And there is the life you think you want to lead.

A trip to Vegas allows you to live the life you think you want to lead.  A glimpse into the non-stop, a toe into the pool of excess, a taste of forbidden treats – it’s all there.  Of course you can’t stay there for long.  Running your own personal engine to its redline can be hazardous.  But for short bursts, a pedal to the metal attitude works in the City of Sin.

The alternate reality of the coming weekend draws near.  For those of us living the lives of family man, breadwinner, and responsible adult, this weekend affords us the opportunity to disregard the chains for a few days.  We can stretch our inner selves that have been caged by the mundane, exposing the suppressed sides of our personalities with few repercussions.

And it will be healthy.

For when it is all over, it will be all over.  The pressure that had built will be gone – released into the desert air in a festival of friends and good times.  We will return to the routine, but with an appreciation for it rather than a distaste.


See you all soon.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


I’ve played the last live poker until Vegas in two days.  I did go to the G-Vegas Big Game last night, but didn’t see much in the way of cards.  I toiled for a bit and finished down less than a buy-in.  There was mega-cash flowing at the table, I believe one guy was up over $1k.  Based on what I saw, I’m not too displeased with the way I played, but the results were disappointing.

Here is an interesting hand where I feel I made good reads and that I played it correctly.

I’m in the SB and the blinds are $2/$5.  UTG raises to $15 and gets 2 callers.  Based on the table, I’m confident the BB will most likely call as well, perhaps fold, but certainly not re-raise.  So I call.  Indeed, the BB calls too and we’ve got a $75 pre-flop pot.

I’m holding 5d7d, by the way.  Sorry I forgot to say so.

The flop is 4d, 8d, Qh – giving me the flush draw and gutshot straight draw.  By all accounts, that’s 12 outs or so I think.  I check, the BB checks and the UTG raiser bets $30.  The two previous pre-flop callers also call.

Now my spidey-sense is going off.  I muck.  I have to believe here that at least one other person is on the flush draw and my baby draw will come up short.  The BB also mucks and we’ve got a $165 pot.

The turn is the 6h, which would have given me the nuts.  But it also produced a second flush draw, so getting outdrawn was a distinct possibility.  Were I still in the hand, I’d have had to go all-in.  But the problem was that I don’t think I could have made the flush draws fold.  I was first to act and UTG was most certainly calling me.  At this stage of the evening, UTG had a bigger stack and calling my all-in wouldn’t have been difficult.  Then once he called, he’s making the pot size more attractive for the other two callers who are obviously on draws.

The river was a third diamond and G-Rob won the pot with AdTd and the nut flush.  UTG showed pocket K’s.

In retrospect, I really like the laydown based on the number of players in the pot, my inability to create fold equity and the fact that the number of my actual outs was quite less than I originally anticipated.

I also liked that fact that I only saw 1 flop in Pinizzle.  I am a tight box in that game.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Five, Four, Three

I’m having some problems.

Containing myself that is.  That’s ‘cause I’m huge.  But not that huge, because I was still owned at arm-wrestling this weekend.  Granted, TheMark and TheRick both outweigh me by 40 or so pounds, but that’s no excuse.

The real problem is that I’m getting excited and that means I’ll be playing less-than-optimal poker.  I was excited Friday night.  CJ and The Big Pirate Wes were in town, and when you add in G-Rob, TheMark, TheRick, TeamScottSmith, Shep Tiltstein, and The Wolverine, you get G-Vegas at its best.  Personally I was at my worst.  I should know better than to play poker when the hostess is serving shots of SoCo on a tray for me to consume.  This has now happened twice.  First time – Mrs. Otis was the guilty party.  Second time, it was Mrs_All_In, aka Pokerbtch, aka popsicle girl, aka the One Who Tilts Otis.  And both times I’ve suffered my worst cash losses of the year.

The cash bankroll suffered a bit, but it was a blast.  –EV all the way.


Let me add fire to the brewing blogger controversy.  No, not that one.  The one between me and PokerGeek.  On his blog, he simply states, and I quote:

Me > You.

Let me delineate instances where that is correct, for it is not a global truism.

  1. Wielding a lightsaber.

  2. Ability to be knocked down by a small gust of wind.

  3. Using the “Clone/Stamp” Tool.

  4. Convincing others to back him in low-limit blogger tourneys.

  5. Passing out after 3 fluid ounces of alcohol.

And last, but not least, I give him props for his Schwarzenegger impressions.  But that is all.  Any other situation, the equation above should be re-written thusly:

e^(PI * i) * tan(PI)== PokerGeek

Friday, December 02, 2005


With less than a week to go, I’m noticing a few things.  And I like ‘em.

The smack talk is beginning.  Any time we can bring an element of professional wrestling to the world of poker is fine by me.  Here’s what I’m seeing:

Pokergeek – Soooooooooooo jealous of the G-Vegas home game.  Quite frankly, who isn’t?  Granted, his superior photoshop skills are unequaled but big deal, I can bench geek with one hand.  I put him on a buck-twenty-five.

Chilly – He’s going out of his way to dis G-Vegas’ king of the coiffure.  Sadly, I’m sure I cannot bench Chilly with one hand.  Maybe two, but I’d need handles.  He too is quite jealous of the G-Vegas homegame.  Go ask Marty about the pre-Bradoween game, then hide your bankroll.

Shep Tiltstein – Yeah, I know he doesn’t like the name Tiltstein, but he’s gone and dissed me anyway in the UpForPoker comments section.  Then he goes and decides to recruit other G-Vegas-ites for the CJ challenge.  Shep’s way too solid for me to confront physically, so it will be psychological warfare.

CJ – A G-Vegas vet by the grandfather clause, CJ’s issued his 3-way challenge.  Go see UpForPoker for details.  I’ve managed quite a coup by snagging St. Ignatious and Squint from Pokerstage.  I’ll take my chances.  Ig, ya better show up.

Whatcha gonna do, when the power of Blood-a-mania runs WILD on you!!!!

Thursday, December 01, 2005


So I won this tournament, which frankly surprised the hell out of me. It all started out when I signed up for a freeroll based out of the TalkingPoker forum.  What was funny is that prior to the freeroll, I was playing a $100NL table and on two different occasions, I got pestered for the password to the tourney.  The prize pool was for $100 and top prize was $30.  I didn’t give out the password as I was instructed not to, but it was funny to hear the excuses people gave as to why they came to me to get the password rather than the official channel.  Peeps be desperate.

All was going well in the freeroll.  I doubled up and was second in chips at my table by just a bit.  Disaster came in the form of AA when I re-raised an EP raiser who simply flat called.  The flop was 8-high and the EP raiser pushed.  I called and he flipped up KK.  Rather than getting my money in as a 4:1 favorite, it was now 9:1.  No matter, a K came on the turn and I was gone.  Damn tournaments.  The previous night, I got eliminated with KK vs AK, so I was none too happy about how volatile tourney play could get.

At about 10:00pm G-Rob convinced me to play in a $20 180 person MTT on Stars.  Since Tilt was down again, I said WTF and signed up.

These lower buy-in tournaments certainly play like freerolls early on.  There are your maniacs and push-monkeys who will either quadruple up by the first level or get eliminated.  It makes it tough to try to accumulate chips by actually playing poker in the early levels.

As was common, I found myself below average with 2/3rds of the field gone.  With an average stack of around 5000, I was at 2100.  One maniac at my table was a luck box that only CJ could aspire to.  He called every bet and hit for the first two hours.  However, in the span of 3 hands, I doubled up against him with QQ and did it again with AA.  From short-stacked to 8th, I now had a chance to play poker.

When the tourney was nearing the money, I made a few laydowns of trouble hands that turned out to be key.  I folded AJo in the SB to an UTG raiser.  He showed KK.  I’d have gone broke there on a J-high flop, which was equally as likely as doubling up on an A-high flop.  Still, I was out of position and way behind to most raising hands from his position.  On another occasion, I layed down KQ from the button to a raise and a call.  The hand was never shown and even though the board was a favorable TJQx, I could have easily been way behind to AQ or AK.

Throughout the later stages, I remained pretty tight.  In fact, with 8 players left, my stats still read at only 10% flops seen from outside the blinds.  I picked up a few pots here and there and won a few races.

Part of the reason for my success was the following favorable results.  I was in 3-races and won all of them.  I did not suckout on anybody, nor did anyone suck out on me.  Two of the three races, I had my opponent out chipped so my tournament life was not at stake.  In the other race, I pushed with an OESFD against pocket K’s and with two chances to hit my 15-outs connected on the turn.

With four players left, it seemed it would only be a battle for second.  One player had about 150k and the 3 others had about 40k.  I asked for a 4 way chop, but was turned down.  What a mistake on the chipleader’s part….

My move of the night came with 4 players left.  I was on SB with 99 and the chipleader on the button made a nice raise.  As we all know, that raise could have meant anything.  More than likely it was a steal.  It was at that time that I decided this time investment was either paying 1st or 4th.  So I pushed.  He paused, hit the time bank, and then folded.  I vaulted to 2nd in chips.

One of the other players seemed very content to finish 4th.  In fact, he did.  He was all-in or fold, but didn’t take any chances on the button ever.  After he was gone and there were three players left, the stack sizes were all very near the 90k mark.

I thought about propsing a chop.  Then I said to myself, forget about it.  I was there to win, and with G-Rob and Otis sweating me, I had a little bit to prove given their online tourney successes.

I became chip leader by a very slight margin and found pocket 9’s on the button.  I raised a standard amount and the former chip leader called from the BB.  The flop was Q73.  The BB pushed.

At this point, I felt he was bluffing.  Why?  I’m not 100% sure.  I think our brains are wired to notice differences in our surroundings rather than the details of our surroundings.  Ever been driving down a long highway for what seems like ages, almost hypnotized by the unchanging scenery?  It only takes a small change, perhaps in our peripheral vision, to shake us out of the trance.  All during the final table, the chip leader never put so many of his chips at risk.  Something was up and my subconscious caught it.

I called and he flipped over ATo.  Like I mentioned before, I didn’t get sucked out on and all of a sudden I have a 2:1 chip lead for the headsup battle.

My opponent lost several pots early to me and then basically folded his way into an un-winnable situation.  It was 2:15 am and I was wired, psyched, and ecstatic at my win.

This was my biggest tourney win to date, surpassing my $800 cash in February.  I’m still not super excited about my tournament game, but this was certainly a positive indicator.  I may try to play some more of these in the time before Vegas, but I’ll have to start them sooner in the evening.  This morning at work was hellish.

Slight Interruption

Thanks to Otis and G-Rob for some late night sweating. No, not man love, just some 180 person MTT lovin'. Biggest tourney win ever for the Blood:

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Behold the path that leads before you.  –Killswitch Engage – Take This Oath

The beauty of blogging about poker is that we’re all on the same path.  Granted, each of us is on a different part of the path, but from what I’ve read, the path itself is the same.

A year ago, I recall railbirding Otis at a $200PL table, marveling at his stack.  It was bigger than my entire bankroll.  I was playing $25NL at the time and confessed to him that I wished I could play at those levels.  His words to me were comforting, but at the same time discouraging, “You can play at this level, you’re better than most of the players I’ve played against.”  Perhaps true, perhaps not.  The only thing I was sure of was that I didn’t have the bankroll to play there.

Fast forward to today.  I’m still not at the $200 tables, but I’m closer.  I’ve finally and hopefully permanently moved up to the $100NL tables with a bankroll that allows me to withstand the inevitable swings that will occur.  After all, the path we’re on is littered with dangerous valleys and obstacles.  My bankroll is my cushion, my protection against the hazards.

What’s interesting to me is that I still get to look ahead on that same path to some bloggers who’ve traversed the difficult trail ahead of me.  It’s comforting to see those who’ve trail-blazed before me continue their progression upwards.  Also just as satisfying is that I can hopefully help those others that are behind me on the path avoid some of the same pitfalls.

A few local bloggers and players have recently entered the online poker arena.  I try to help them any way I can by discussing what I went through at those levels and giving them my perspective on what went right for me.  I do it because I enjoy helping.  And I’m thankful that those of you who are ahead of me continue to do me the same favors.

Again, that’s the beauty of blogging about poker.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


G-Rob IM’d me last night on the girly IM thing talking about a 9pm $10+1 MTT on FullTilt.  It didn’t take much convincing.  I had just lost to a 3-outer with all my money in good on the turn and was looking to lick the wounds just a bit.  I signed up and not soon after, Luckbox V1.0 signed up as well.  I went downstairs, grabbed a full glass of Shiraz and was off.

In Nostradamus-like fashion, G-Rob predicted we’d be at the same starting table.  We were.  As I mentioned yesterday, my tournament game is full of rust, puss, and other random bad crap.  So if I were to make any headway on December 10th, then I’d need some practice and this tourney fit the bill to a tee.

Much to my surprise, my AA held up.  So did QQ.  Amazingly, after the first break, I’m above average and had outlasted both of those UpForPoker hack jobs.  CJ replied that the buy-in and prize pool were so low that he didn’t bring his best game.  I know he was joking.  But only a little.

With over 60% of the field gone and me having plenty of chips, all of a sudden the FullTilt client froze on me.  I waited, figuring perhaps the tables were getting shuffled or some guy at my table on dial-up had disconnected.

Not so.

The entire site was down.  There were many a blogger in a near frenzy as there was a $14k guarantee in progress as well.  I IM’d Hank, but knowing that this type of technical problem isn’t his job (not to mention he’s not our own personal 24/7 support line), I told him of the impending crisis.  Like the brilliant man we all know him to be, he logged off YahooIM after telling me he was aware of the situation but couldn’t do anything about it.  I told him I’d see him 10 and he was off.

Unfortunately, it looked as though they had a server failure.

The good news is that my tournament buy-in was refunded.  I’m counting that as a cash.  Sadly, the other 400+ entrants also cashed, but I’m taking what I can get.


For those wondering about the dinner at The Nine, I’m thinking Friday night.  Anyone who’s interested, give me a heads up and I’ll try to make some reservations.  Otherwise we’ll go the Pauly route with a tip to the hostess.

Monday, November 28, 2005


So I get this email in my work inbox talking about some kind of “Blood Drive” this Wednesday.  I’m thinking to myself that I hadn’t planned on any trips this week, what the hell was this about?  Apparently my alter ego is taking over a larger part of my subconscious – a sure sign of impending dementia.


With ten days until Vegas, I still have no idea what to expect.  One thing is for certain – there is simply not enough time in the three days that I’ll be there to do everything I want.  I’ve made checklists before, but usually I’m too caught up in the moment to pay them any heed.  That won’t stop me from trying again, so here goes.

Short list of must-do’s

  1. Play poker at the Wynn.  I’ve not been there yet and am determined to make it there and maybe try my hand at the 10/20 mixed game that Felicia blogged about.

  2. Play in at least one $100+ buy-in tournament.  I hate my tournament game right now, but I plan to spend a little time between now and then attempting to make improvements.  I will be enlisting CJ next weekend to teach me the art of the suckout.

  3. Speak to the pros.  In December of last year, I was suffering from a bout of timid, drunk-ass-ness which prevented me from uttering a single word to either Ron Rose, Evelyn Ng, Marcel Luske, or Tom McEvoy.  All I have to say this time is look out Clonie.

  4. Eat.  During my October trip, one of the days I simply forgot to eat.  Thankfully, the Aladdin brought out cookies and donuts at about 7pm, otherwise I would have dropped about 10 pounds simply by sitting in a chair.

  5. Have at least one really nice dinner.  Tentatively, TheMark and maybe others are going to eat at the Nine at the Palms.  Anyone else who wants to join us are absolutely more than welcome.  The social aspect of a great dinner can never be overlooked.

  6. Buy Drizz a lap dance.  For those wondering, I too will accept free dances.  In fact, CJ and Drizz both owe me $1 from a last longer bet.  I will even accept those dollars to put into just about anybody’s g-string.  PS:  Thanks to Chad who dutifully x-ferred me the $1.  Dude, you could have waited until Vegas. (

  7. Have a listening party with AlCantHang.  He’s bringing our compilation CD to Vegas and I expect at least JoeSpeaker to be there.

Perhaps I’ll post a list of the might-do’s later in the week.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Get It

Pokerstars get’s it.  From what I’ve seen so far, they are doing a great job at fostering the poker blogging community.  We had the freeroll last month (granted, that included all bloggers – but you can’t seriously complain about that) and now they’ve contributed to the WPBT Winter Classic II as reported here.

The out-of-pocket expense is small, but the investment is worth it.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen companies that think only in the short-term at the expense of the long-term.  Pokerstars doesn’t have to contribute anything to the prize pool or send any company representatives to speak and hang out with us.  Most of us will still play there simply because it’s a quality site.  They’re spending some short-term dollars for some long-term goodwill.  It will pay off, of that I’m certain.

FullTilt also gets it.  They’re contributing to our event and having actually hired many of our brethren, have a great feel for what it takes to guarantee our future business.  They are paying cold hard cash for ad-space within the community and recognize what we can do for them.  From my perspective, it’s win-win.

Sadly, there are sites that do not get it.

Party Poker does not get it.  I haven’t played there in a bit, so out of their kind, gracious souls comes an email informing me that I’ve lost all my player points.  I had thirty days to cash them in or play at the site again, but because I wasn’t in the market for small, women's shirts, I lost my points.  I don’t respond well to “play here or else” ultimatums.  I will not be back there, regardless of the quantity of fish.

Empire Poker does not get it.  They banned my account a while ago because I only played there during bonus periods.  The debate has long since passed, but I still maintain that is the equivalent of a store like WalMart banning you from shopping there because you only did so when you had coupons.  Dumb fucking business model right there.  If you can only make sales when you operate at a loss, then there’s something wrong with your business model.  They did manage to differentiate themselves by being so fucking stupid.  Have fun going out of business.

Checknraise poker?  They get it a little.  They at least recognized when they were in trouble with a small player base and slow software.  They’ve remedied both issues to some degree, but it remains to be seen what else they can do.  They were certainly present at The WPBT Winter Classic I back in ’04, so they do get some of my business.

I certainly can’t wait for Saturday December 10th.  Seeing everyone again, meeting new folks, and supporting the sites that “get it” will truly be fun.

The real question:  Which strip clubs in Vegas “get it?”

Monday, November 21, 2005

Walking the Walk

I’m slightly premature with a year-end post, seeing how it’s only November and all.  But being slightly premature has never stopped me before.  Witness the miniBloods.

Moving on.  This past year of poker has been a bit tumultuous.

I remember beginning the year on quite a decent rush.  I had a weekend where I won about $1400 in both live and online games and was quite prepared to have a monster year overall.  But there was still a big problem.  I really wasn’t ready.

As I’ve documented before, I took shots at higher levels and failed each time.  My bankroll plummeted and by the summer, while still up for the year, my spirits were diminished.  Meanwhile, local legend G-Rob was killing every game he was in.  The guy was unstoppable and I’ll be honest and confess to being slightly jealous at the success he was having.  I was the guy who got him invited to my donkey home game and he was cleaning up.  (Aside:  Inviting other good players to your home game is –EV for you personally.  Duh.)

I quickly realized how silly it was to compare your results with someone else’s.  It’s one of the credos in the world of weightlifting and working out:  You are battling yourself and your own personal bests each workout.  Just because some one else can bench more than you, it doesn’t matter.  You’re there competing with yourself to better yourself.  It’s just like poker.

Beginning in July or so, I began to concentrate more on my game and made yet another attempt to ignore results and simply play a better, more solid game.  I started with a $200 live bankroll and a $200 online bankroll.  The goal was to simply grow the roll and be patient about moving up in limits.

Fast forward to today.  The results have been good, but what has really struck me is my reactions during losses.  Back to G-Rob for a second.  As he’s posted and as we’ve spoken about, he’s on a downswing.  That happens to every poker player on the planet.  He’s had Aces cracked in the most brutal ways and is reeling just a bit.  So when we’ve spoken, I’ve tried to help out by reiterating the mantra of variance and playing with a clear head.  I’m sure he’ll rebound, as good players do.

Coincidentally, this past weekend gave me a chance to put those same words I spoke to G-Rob to use.  I had Aces cracked hard twice in a row.  The second one, when I lost to a 1-outer when the guy hit quads after we both had our money in the pot, was a watershed moment.  Of course, I let out a “You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.”  But then?  Nothing.  Nothing else.  I kept playing.  In fact, the guy typed “sorry” in the chat window and I simply responded, “np, happens.”

Sure the pot I lost was huge, but I managed to avoid letting that loss effect my play afterwards.  And that is where I’ve made the biggest leap this year in my poker play.  I’ve crossed some sort of line where the beats just don’t get to me like they used to.  It’s taken a while, but with each passing day, I can squash those rising feelings of tilt whenever I sense them.  I’m not 100% successful, but I’m far and away much better than I used to be.

I encourage everyone who hasn’t yet read “Zen and the Art of Poker” to do so whenever they can.  I’ll always need strategy books and the like, but at this point in my poker career, I am more interested in the psychology of poker and how it applies to my own play.  As much as there is to learn about poker, there is even more to learn about yourself.

Friday, November 18, 2005


G-Vegas is becoming a home game hotbed of sorts.  On Monday nights, there is the Big Game – a $200 NL ring game hosted at The Rick’s.  Wednesday’s, there is either a tournament at Frank the Tank’s or one at the house of Otit.  Thursday alternates between the limit dealer’s choice game and the $50 NL ring game.  Then on Friday, a game can usually be found at The Mark’s.  Add to that the random Otis-is-a-bachelor home game and the week fills up fast.

Online, the blogger-fest is growing too.  Thursday and Friday, we’ve got the Wil Wheaton Pokerstars events.  Saturday afternoon’s with the Dr. is always great fun, as is the Sunday Bill Rini event on Full Tilt.

That’s a ton of poker.  And someone isn’t too happy about it.  You have three guesses and the first two don’t count.

On Wednesday night, I got home late.  I found a bag of take-out for dinner on the table, so I chowed down fast.  There was a game at the Tank’s and if I were to make it, I’d need to hurry.  As I finished up, I went upstairs to check on the rest of the Blood’s.  The mini’s were showered up and getting ready for bed.  The Mrs. took one look at me and simply said, “Bye.”


That was the sound of my poker plans for the night coming to a grinding halt.

I looked down at my two hole cards and knew I was beat.  Based on Mrs_Blood’s tell, I mucked.  I phoned up G-Rob and informed him that I wouldn’t be making it to the Tank’s game.  Simply not showing up is uncool, but calling G-Rob ensured that I’d receive a ration of shit in the following days.

So there I was, thinking I was playing the good guy, sacrificing a poker game to spend some QT with she-who-shall-not-be-named.  I jest, it wasn’t that bad.  We watched some TV and spent a quiet evening together.  Long-term +EV is what I called it.

With Wednesday’s ginormous spousal equity booked, I greatly looked forward to the Thursday night game.  Things started off great.  I won the first hand, exchanged dial-a-shots with the ACHE and things started rollicking.  When G-Rob showed up, he asked me about Wednesday night’s absence.  “Did you get wifed?”  I nodded in the affirmative, but didn’t mind the ribbing.

Then the phone rang again.  Screeeeeeeeeeeeech.

That was the sound of my poker fun for the night coming to a screeching halt.  The Mrs was on the phone.  Apparently I left the house too quickly and didn’t get a chance to talk to her about my day.  The conversation was short, but the message was clear.  And then I felt it.  Yes my friends, a new form of TILT.  The unhappy-wife-making-you-feel-guilty-for-playing-tilt.

After I hung up the phone, I played one more hand.  Then I had to excuse myself.  If I didn’t rectify the situation pronto, I was going to erupt.  I went to the host’s garage and called the Mrs. back.  I won’t go into details, but after about 10 minutes of explaining how each of us felt about what was going on, disaster was averted.  Surprisingly, Mrs_Blood was assuaged enough to end the conversation with, “OK, now go take all their money.”  She’s a keeper.

When I got back to the table, the Thursday night crew warned me of an impending giant Milwaukee’s Best Light beer can coming through the ceiling to crush me.  Men should act like men, beer should taste like beer; but sometimes husbands have to act like husbands.  So don’t be surprised if I’m not available online much this weekend.  I owe someone else some of my time.  She’s earned it.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Poker Puzzle

I’ve been playing in the Talking Poker forum’s Head’s Up challenge for the past few weeks.  It began with a field of 32, the top four places get paid some cash and various goodies based on the forum’s logo design.

I managed to work my way to the round of four and then won the first match in a best two out of three semifinal round.  But, alas, I dropped two consecutive matches last night to get eliminated.  As is with most headsup matches, timing is of the utmost importance.  Last night, it seemed every bluff I made was picked off by a better hand, and every made hand I had was outdrawn.  The final hand saw me push with AA and lose to a 5-outer on the turn for trip tens.  I may get to play for 3rd place with one final match, but I’m not sure when that will take place.


More interestingly, the forum’s creator Mark came up with a really cool poker related question.  I’ll simply cut and paste it for you here.

Situation: Texas Hold Em. Two players in the hand. There are four cards on the board, with only the river card left to come.

Describe a situation where the hand that is currently winning can NEVER win the pot after the river card is dealt. More specifically, in the situation I am looking for, the currently losing hand has exactly 19 outs to win and 25 to tie (there are 44 unknown cards in the deck).

Yours truly came out the winner.  Before you go on over to find out my answer, give it a shot yourself.  It’s a neat little question, IMHO.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


I have arrived back in G-Vegas with a successful trip under my belt.  The Pats managed to win the game against the Fins and all was good.  Saw a couple of fist fights up in the nosebleed seats where I was.  I just watched the general idiocy all the while thinking that it was a good idea to stop serving alcohol at the start of the 3rd quarter.  Prior to the game, however, I introduced the parental Bloodclan to dial-a-shots with AlCantHang.  Kudos to Dolphin Stadium for having hard liquor available, but 1000 shames for not having Southern Comfort.

I arrived back early enough on Monday to play in the G-Vegas big game, but was informed that it was cancelled.  The reason for cancellation was that many of the players were heading to Las Vegas on Thursday.  Confused?  Yeah, me too.  Why cancel playing on Monday unless you’re bankroll limited?  Oh well.


For anyone who didn’t realize that I can be bought, let me set the record straight and say that I can.  To wit, a few months ago, Noble Poker gave me a “please come back” $20 deposit.  Not being one to turn down free money, I played for a while and managed to turn that $20 into $1000+.  Alas, the bogus software interface finally made me leave for good.  Enter Checknraise poker.  A couple of weeks ago, they too sent me a “please come back” $100.  It was not without trepidation that I logged back onto their site.

Just to set the record straight, I’m not affiliated with Checknraise whatsoever.  I have been the recipient of some goodies from that site thanks to their marketing rep being at the December ’04 WPBT Classic, but that is all.  For a while I played there but grew ever more leery about their 200 count player base.  Fears of losing my deposit and trouble finding a decent NL ring game caused me to cashout from that site expecting never again to reload.

I had received emails about them joining another network and overhauling their software, but I honestly expected that I’d blow my $100 free roll and not think twice about making Checknraise simply a temporary distraction.

Color me surprised when I found out that their player base had grown to around 7000-8000 players.  Also, they had made a downloadable software client available so that you wouldn’t have to rely on their Java-based web client.  The client even has their Fold, Call, and Raise buttons linked to function keys, so you don’t even need to use the mouse to play if you don’t want to.

As for the talent level of the player base, I’d rank them on an equivalent basis as those players on the former Noble/Titan poker network.  Not so good.  Either that, or I’ve morphed into a NL ring game Deity.  I’ve grown the $100 into over $1250+ in a matter of two weeks.  Trust me, I’m not that good.

I also made a cashout and can pleasantly report that it took only 1 day to get it into my Neteller account.  That’s not too shabby either.  I originally only planned to play there as long as it took to clear my checkpoint bonus, which would allow me to cashout the original $100 stake.  But as I approach that milestone, I’m finding it difficult to halt my play there altogether.

So perhaps I’ll linger on that site for a bit longer.  I still have much of my online bankroll at FullTilt and Pokerstars, but as long as I’m seeing such favorable results, I can’t turn away.  Because, like I said, I can be bought.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Upcoming Weekend

I'll be travelling to Florida this weekend, a solo trip to go to the Pats/Dolphins game with the parental Bloods. If things work out, I may be able to hit up the Fort Myers dog track for some $1/$2 Omaha8 which I hear is a gold mine for nut peddlers.

Since I don't leave until Saturday AM, I should be able to play in the Wil Wheaton tourney tonight on Stars. Sadly, I'll miss both the Dr. Pauly Saturday tourney and the Bill Rini Full Tilt tourney.

Last night, I played in a home game where the high point of my evening occurred on hand #1. I'm dealt 85h in the BB and call the SB's raise after it had been folded around to him. The flop was 679 with the 67 being hearts. I know I'm good, but choose to simply call the next bet. The turn is the 3 of hearts giving me the flush. Normally, I'd have to protect my flush at this point because it's very vunerable to what is most likely one heart overcard in the SB's hand.

However, the turn bet is the same as the flop bet so I smooth call again. The river? Money. 9 of hearts. SB, with the Ace of hearts in his hand goes all in. Uh, call?

The look on Teddy Ballgame's face was priceless. The $100 pot he thought he was going to pull came my way thanks to the straight flush. Most of you will hate the all-in bet from Teddy here, as the board paired on the river making his kinda-sorta-but-not-really-nut flush potentially second best to a full house or better hand.

I, however, LOVED the all-in bet here.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Pass the Sugar

By all indications, Joe Hachem seems like a very nice person and a quality poker player.  But I’m calling foul on his exclamation after calling Andrew Black’s all-in bet.  Recall Black had flopped a set of Queens on an all-club board.  Hachem held the nut flush.

“Pass the sugah!”  Down come the cards onto the felt face up.  Huh?  What is most likely an Aussie colloquialism comes off a bit odd to this viewer.

Still, I have to wonder if Phil Hellmuth calls that bet if he were in Hachem’s place holding the nuts since he’s so susceptible to re-draws.

“Honey!  I was supposed to double up that hand.  But they forgot to tell these guys I can dodge 70:30 favorites with the best of ‘em.”

But back to “Pass the sugah!”  Were other players in a similar situation, we could have had entirely different new catch-phrases:

AlCantHang:  “Pass the SoCo!”
Dr. Pauly:  “Pass the bong!”
TheMark:  “Pass the TUMS!”
Otis:  “Indeed, for I have flopped the nuts, shall I rejoice?  Yes, friends, indeed I will.”
BadBlood:  “Pass the protein powder!”
JoeSpeaker:  “Pass the metrosexual cologne that makes me smell so sweet to the ladies!”
BobbyBracelet (grabs crotch): “Pass the sausage baby!  HUGE-JUNK, right here!”
AlCantHang:  “I said pass the SoCo, not some wussy half-shot shit.  Where’s Big Mike?  Ahoy-hoy!”
G-Rob: “Pass the moonshine.”
Shep “8-ball” Tiltstein:  “Pass the Budweiser.  Yeah, that crap.  I  love it.”
Maigrey: “Pass the Tiara”
Dr. Pauly:  “Dude…”
Derek: “Look bro, it’s my turn.”
Iggy:  “Pass the uber-Guinness”
PokerProf:  “Pass by reference.  You know, because it’s an array of pointers to double precision variables.”
G-Rob:  “Pass the extended-hold hairspray!  FYI: I’m not wearing pants.”
BG:  “Pass me some cooking wine!”

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


For the record, my post was really poking fun at the English that was auto-translated from the French-based web page.

Some of my best friends are French. :)

Le Gee-Raube, Oteeze, Alouishous de la Hangue, Ze Doctor Pauli, and Daddy the Donkey Fucker.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Lost in Translation

Every now and then I check via StatCounter the “came from” section.  It’s interesting to see how people make it over to my blog.  Most of the entries aren’t suprising, but every now and then I get a new link up from someone, somewhere.  I’ll end up visiting that site and checking it out mainly out of curiosity.  Today, I went here:

It’s all in French, and I can’t read French.  Well, I can read it, but I can’t understand it.  So of course, I translate the page using the babelfish utility on altavista.  As I’ve mentioned before, I love the translations that come out of those tools.  The page is simply a list of some poker blogs with a brief description of each.

Here are some gems:

The Cards SpeakAn impassioned young man of Poker delivers to us here the accounts of his adventures with face discovered (photo in the profile).

I’d like to hear some of Hank’s adventures prior to him discovering his face.

Guinness and PokerA blog in the purest style of the kind with its thoughts, its states of heart and its opinions. To note: an impressive list of bonds towards others blogs!

Nothing about dwarfism, which is sad.

Las Vegas and Blog PokerA collaboratif blog!!! If simple seemingly, it is in fact one of the things most complicated of the Web but which give also the most enthralling result!

Leave it to Poker Prof to make the complicated seem easy.

Bad BloodNothing will be censured, it will say all to you on its best performances like the worst. In premium, the detailed account of its trips in Las Vegas.

I say to this:  “Go <censure> yourself.”