Thursday, September 08, 2005

Curb Your Enthusiasm

The news of the day is that the growth of online poker is finally beginning to show signs of slowing.  While we can debate the truthfulness of that statement with statistics and numbers that claim to confirm or deny it, all I can do is offer my own impression.  ‘Cause, ya know, that’s what I do.

I’ve been at this online game for over two years now.  It has been without a doubt the longest and most intense vocation I have chosen, surpassing all the others quite easily.

But today, I sit here, and think that the newness and excitement I once felt may be on its way out.  I used to not be able to wait to get home from work some nights and log-on to the virtual felt and play the night away.  Especially with the camaraderie of the rest of you guys only a millisecond away, playing online poker was often times the highlight to a humdrum day.

Things have changed.

For the better.

Surprised?  Me too.  I can’t quite put these thoughts into words, but because I’m not so “excited” to play anymore, I feel my game has turned a corner and improved.  Perhaps I’ve managed to manage myself and my emotions more effectively, achieving a calmer, more even state of mind.

There were times when looking forward to a session has destroyed my game.  I remember heading to Otis’ one night, excited that he was hosting a home game after finally returning home from Vegas, getting obliterated, and losing 3+ buy-ins.  Not very good poker right there.

The past couple of weeks, however, it’s almost as if my indifference to playing has allowed me to play better.  I’ve mentioned that financial indifference was important in this game, but now I think that indifference to the very act of playing may be important as well.  Granted, I’m not indifferent to the point where I no longer enjoy playing or refuse a game if it’s offered to me; I just don’t get overly jacked up over it.

Without such an emotional investment into the game, the bad beats are shrugged off more easily – even the big wins are less exciting.  But what I do feel is that I’m able to make better decisions more easily without a haze of excitement clouding my mind.

Or maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about.  That’s a very real possibility.

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