Friday, January 09, 2009

Friday in Vegas

Sometimes you never forget where you were when you heard a certain song for the first time. The Axeman picked me up for a night of drinking a few years ago and put in a CD he'd recently burned.

"Ever hear of Metal Shop?" he asked. "Uh, no. Why?" was my reply.

"Just listen."

The first song started out like most any classic Hair Metal band song would. Standard intro riff, a bit of lead work. Then the lyrics hit.

I see your boobies and I wanna screw.
Lookin' at you makes my balls turn blue
I wanna see you in a little bikini.
Wrappin' your boobs around my fat WEENIE!

I would later internally re-name that song Instant Smile. It's not often you hear genius. But with Metal Shop's "Hole Patrol" CD, I could hear genius every day.


In June of 2007, StB and I found ourselves stumbling into the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino after some drunken play at the MGM and Hooter's poker rooms. Metal Shop had renamed themselves Metal Skool and were playing at the "Body Shot" bar. I fully expected to pay upwards of $30 for the show. No chance I was missing them live. I had given StB the .mp3's for Hole Patrol and he agreed - no price was too steep.

Imagine our excitement when we were handed 2 free passes to the show. Life was good. StB and I drank some more, worked our way to the front row and rocked out to some classic 80's metal renditions. Who knew that Metal Skool was also funny as shit?

"Who wants to see more Metal Skool?" lead singer Michael Starr shouted at the end of their set (that's two R's, for double rockin' dude!). A huge uproar from the crowd was met with an acerbic "Cool, come back next Thursday!"


June of 2008 - I coerced Otis, G-Rob, and CJ to go with me to Green Valley Ranch to see the latest incarnation of Metal Skool, formerly known as Metal Shop, now known as Steel Panther. You can ask them how it went. Pretty sure they had a good time, especially when G-Rob was made part of the show.

"Look at that guy! That's what it looks like when a Sears explodes." And when the spotlight shone on Otis, "Oh wait, there's his gay lover."

From there, I believe they launched into their MySpace classic: Asian Hooker

More genius:

"I'm a man, with a plan. I'm fuckin' going to Japan. Gonna spend a couple a grand, just fuckin' hookers in the can."


This past December I tried to convince as many people as I could to go to Green Valley Ranch and catch the Steel Panther show. For me personally, I'll never have a Vegas trip without seeing them. I know it's difficult to drag anybody away from a poker table, especially when you're winning, and then take a 15 minute cab ride off strip for what could easily be perceived as a stupid concert.

But it's worth it.

StB, California April, DrJeff, TheTrooper, Dr. Chako, The Wife, and Poker Peaker were willing souls and I'm pretty sure everyone had a great time. Check out The Wife's trip report, the pics don't do justice to the event.


So what do you do after a Steel Panther show? Destroy the GVR poker room of course....


DrChako said...

The hallmark of a concert at this level of awesomeness is that 2 months later I'm still talking about it (at least the parts I can remember).


theAxeman said...

What hell hath Nikki Lixx wrought?

TheTrooper97 said...

please allow me to assure you that when I wrote today's post I HAD NOT SEE N THIS POST YET. It was quite funny when I went to your blog and read the latest, just after I'd brought them up, complete with lyrics and such.

The NL Wife said...

Dear, that was the best suggestion anyone has ever made at a blogger event. I think it has to go into a standard Vegas rotation. Hands down awesome. If you don't invite me personally next year, . . . well, I'll take it personally.

You win the December 08 best blogger suggestion. And what an awesome group of folks to go with . . .

Unknown said...

Oh, trust me, I had an hawesome time. And destroying the poker room that night/morning was fun as well.

StB said...

"Who wants to see more Metal Skool?" lead singer Michael Starr shouted at the end of their set (that's two R's, for double rockin' dude!). A huge uproar from the crowd was met with an acerbic "Cool, come back next Thursday!"

Seeing and remembering that line just cracked me up. I may have to go to Vegas in June just for the Steel Panther show.

VinNay said...

Can't seem to find mp3's anywhere....itunes doesn't have them, etc.

Where can I find Hole Patrol?

BadBlood said...


Not sure if this link works, but try it:

Otherwise, do a search on "Hole Patrol" and "Metal Shop", perhaps you can find a torrent.