Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Interlude - A Poker Hand

Warning: What you about to real is real and unedited. When you are finished reading the following poker hand recap, you will feel dumber for having done so. The names are changed to protect the innocent, the donkeys and the raging tilters.

The game is 1/2 NL with a $300 max buy-in. The game has been going several hours and there are multiple buy-ins on the table. A "rock" is in play, a forced $5 straddle under the gun. The table is 9 handed.

The pre-flop action. Player 1 limps for $5. Player 2 raises to $25. Player 3 calls. Player 4 calls. Player 5, on the button, raises to $105. Player 6, the $5 straddle calls. Player 1, the limper, calls. Player 2, 3, and 4, the initial raiser and two callers also call.

$630 in the pot. Preflop. Two complete buy-ins. Nobody in the hand has a pot-sized bet left.

The flop comes 458, rainbow. Five checks and we're back to the button. He bets $300.

Straddler, Player 6 folds A5 suited. Limper, Player 1, folds unknown cards. Initial raiser, Player 2, folds pocket tens. Player 3 check-raises all in for $450 claiming, "I'll gamble." Player 4 reluctantly folds top pair, unknown kicker. Player 5, facing a $150 raise into a $1350 pot calls with an unimproved AJo.

I'll let you pause, and perhaps re-read the action, because I haven't even got to the good part yet.


OK. Player 3, says, I just have top pair and flips up Jack of spades.........



...... and the 3 of spades?????

"Oh no....I mis-read my hand," he said.

Player 5 has him crushed. The board is 458 rainbow and Player 3 is drawing to 3 outs. He can't even draw to runner-runner flush. A 6,7 can get a chop, but that's about it. It's an epic mis-read.

Player 5, perhaps being gracious, perhaps being risk-averse, offers Player 3 a chance to run it twice. Player 3, now realizing what bad shape he's in, immediately agrees.

First run: Turn 3, river brick.
Second run: Turn 3, river brick.

Player 3 scoops a $1500 pot.

This hand officially breaks the record for dumbest $1500 poker hand of all time.


DrChako said...

I can beat that!

Oh wait. No I can't.


Unknown said...

Is this a cleverly disguised bad beat story? You so totally owe me $1.

Fuel55 said...

i want into this game immediately

Sean G said...

I think my head is going to explode trying to think of who played this the worst. It'd almost be easier to think of who played this the best... or even to pick out ONE action that was proper.

OK, I can think of two proper actions. 1: The blinds were posted. 2: TT open/raised.

OK, head explosion averted.

StB said...

why did you fold the tens?

BadBlood said...

For the record, I folded preflop UTG+1.

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Vera said...

what a bunch of idiots-but that's what ya want when you're playing. You just have to survive their stupidity and avoid the suckouts. I think the guy with the tens is the biggest idiot. His preflop raise is good but to call that size reraise then friggin check on that flop and fold for that amount is ludicrous. I'm shoving that flop, I mean come'on what do you think the button reraised you with, 67? 44? 55? 88? You got too much invested and the pot is too big to fold and ya should have thought of that when you just called the reraise, either fold pre or reraise all in pre depending on your read of opponent. If he's a rock then fold if he's a lagtard then shove.

Unknown said...

Prop bet potential: have people guess which one is G-Rob.

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Cubanlinks said...

BB, I don't get the part of about Player 5 letting him "run it twice". How does that every work in player 5's favor?

Anonymous said...

Ours is an envionment where evil is perceived to be rewarded while good is punished. As with everything the Gods have a reason for creating this perception::::
People who fall on the good side of the good/evil scale have more favor, and when they do something wrong the Gods punish them BECAUSE THEY WANT THEM TO LEARN. The Gods want them to receive this feedback in hope they make corrections and begin to behave appropriately. The Gods DON'T like evil and refuse to grant this feedback.
EVERYBODY pays for what they do wrong, only evil people must wait until their next life before they will experience the wrath of the Gods, manifested in their reincarnation as a lower form of life into environments with increased/enhanced temptations.
Sadly, this allows the Gods to position this perception of evil rewarded as temptation, one which they use as an EXTREMELY effective corruptor.

Both Africa and the Medittereanean are regions which have sexual issues. This is a sign of morbid disfavor once you understand that females are the God's favored gender. Muhammad's (Mohammed's) polygamy halfway through his life as a prophet was preditory. Now a huge percentage of Muslims believes in male superiority and that the abuse of women is God's will. Female genital mutilation is still practiced in Africa. Black misogyny is the most eggregious example in the recent past.
Black member size is temptation to a predisposed population.
The patriarchal cancer spread throughout Europe because of Christianity, of which the majority of policy makers were Italian men. Expect the largest landowner in Europe and the continent's original superpower also played a major role in African slavery.

Militancy in Africa is consistant with the Iraqi example, as was slavery and the KKK here in America:::Fear enforces proper behavior. Without it we see what happens as a result of gross/morbid disfavor:::::AIDS, crack babies, dead young men in gangland retaliation killings. This is the purpose behind many black's historical tendancy towards resistance.
The same principle was true in Europe and throughout the world for centuries:::People whom lived under iron fists were conditioned to think the right way. As a result they experienced higher numbers of children accend into heaven because they were taught to think and behave appropriately, which they passed on to their children. Our preditory envionment of "freedom" was the primary purpose the Gods had when implimenting this strategy that is the United States, one which they used to spred the cancer of democracy and westernization throughout the world. And the Gods use this tool that is America to prey on the disfavored both at home and abroad:::Much like the ghetto, America in general experiences a heightened level of temptation due to the people's disfavor.

Even the Old Testiment is not to be taken literally, but the Gods do offer clues throughout to help the disfavored:::The apple is a tool of temptation used to corrupt Adam and Eve and cast them out of the Garden of Eden.
There is another lesson to be learned from this passage, and it is quite similar to the vailing issue and the discourse over women's attire which ultimately died in the 70s:::Women are responsible for and control the fate of mankind.

Think about what I say. Consider what I teach. Society is going to become disturbingly ugly as we approach the Apocalypse due to spiralling, runaway disfavor.
I do not know when this will occurr, but it is the God's way to grant some time before they end on Planet Earth.
Make the decision to always be good and never look back. Until you do this technology will employ tactics to test your resolve:::Ridicule, beligerance, doubt and refusal to abandon what people perceive to be their "investment".
Pray daily. Think appropriately. Too many are confident, unaware of the God's awesome powers or their status as antients. Others may fall prey to their positioning.
Be humbled, God-fearing and beware of the God's temptations, for everyone is tested to evaluate their worthiness.
Search rest

theboylaz said...

By running twice he slightly reduces his risk of a heavily loss because its far less likely that the other guy will hit a 3 twice than just once.

He also though reduces his chances of winning big because the other guy has two chances to hit a 3 instead of one.